The following letters are from 19 Oct 2018 to 21 July 2019

Before reading these letters please refer to the blog Personal Letters to "RSO" Office 

October 19, 2018 

Dearest Sukhapur and Nadikanta,

As One in the Bright Divine Heart I bow in Bhagavan's Being Of Love-Bliss

Love Love Love to you both. Big gentle hugs with hearts meeting humbly in gratitude.

I offer this without any causal or reactive presumptions or common egoic emotional sexual, religious or spiritual self identity or familiarity, in mutual respect and compassion.

Needless to say too much apparent time has passed without keeping in touch! Yet, there have always been consistent forms of contact via snippets of news (very very little for at least 6-8 years or so, as I have really dropped out)....... thoughts, feelings, intuitions, yoga/prayers/puja, meditation, study and constant dreams. More profoundly however, is the obviousness of being in the prior depth of the process, even as we have all been in seeming different spaces! This spiritual bond has been proven to be eternal. I am sure you feel likewise. Yet still I so long now at this time to be in dialog and contact again. I know you are very busy and have many demands on your energy and attention, plus your own choices and needs in regards to how you both live. I respect all of this. My gratitude and respect for you both never wains. I do have curious loving questions about your lives and service and the Sacred Life of Adidam that hopefully will come to light if we can connect. I pray for this to occur to assist my ability to reconnect lawfully by understanding the manner in which I find Adidam and the Culture in how it manifest presently.

Thank you so deeply for the persistent service you have engaged for Beloved Bhagavan Adi Da and His Bright Work. Truly heroic. I know you both would not have it any other way and cling tight to the profound gifts of obligation you have been given. Given my life took another turn and I am not there with you, perhaps it is time to communicate about the auspicious sameness in the midst of life's apparent differences!

From the depth of my heart please feel my love and gratitude and support. Because of our unique shared history and also continued effortless depth bond I am grateful to understand what your lives are purposed for. As is mine, though possibly from your perspective it may not have been seeming so! As One in the Heart of the Beloved Bright Conscious Light may this be clarified. This has been proven in my heart and thus this being is forever bowed and gone in His Divine Being of Love-Bliss. I pray I may serve in this unique way for you and Bhagavan Adi Da and His Divine Self Emergence in beginning this dialog.

Now life has continued and goes on, and challenges met, by Divine Grace of Beloved Bhagavan's Transcendental Spiritual Presence and State.I offer this with heart clarity, strength, honest and sincere humility by the gift of Divine Heart Recognition of Reality.

A brief update from my life.

Nick and I have moved from our property, Buln Buln Holiday and Retreat Cabins.We were there from 2006, just after being at the Mountain of Attention and seeing Beloved Bhagavan for the last time in His Bodily Human Form.(An unexpected Darshan of Him occurred where just He was coming back from the Library, alone, male attendant at bay, and I walked onto the 7th Gate lawn just as He came to the top of the steps, walking down to the 7th Gate. He saw me, stopped and stood there for the longest time, just little ol me there! That Darshan initiated another key depth in the process.) The Cabins were situated in the south East Coast of the state of Victoria in Australia. We sold up and moved north to retire and be close to Nick's son/wife and new grandson, brother, and devotees in the State of New South Whales. We landed in a small township called Kyogle.

Previously we were very remote. Now we are in a small country town. Both relatively well (aging.....sigh) and happy and grateful. We now have more regular contact with devotees around the area. Previously I lived a fairly reclusive life and simply attended to life responsibility and familial responsibility, never loosing the depth of heart intimacy and reception of His Purifying Grace and Radical Root Transmission. This last year, since we exchanged written letters, dear Sukhapur and you opened your hand to me, has been very active and difficult with my parents aging and a big move. So I have not felt the right moment to offer any questions. Now it feels like a good time.

I have had regular contact with Chrissie Brown and Mike, and also Sally Taylor and Franz on occasion over the last years while living remote.

Now this new experience of more direct contact with devotees, and thus the news of Adidam has been mostly positive, interesting and revealing. As you know my health and well being have always been fragile, thus careful to not provoke symptoms that are too debilitating. As you know I have acute psychic and intuitive feeling sensitivity to what comes into my sphere.Thus, right life, boundaries and balance are essential!

The great gift of Bahagvan's Admonition to me to not give it any meaning nor attention has been deeply received and liberating, and this has been effectively liberating.

My "questions" today are around a couple things:

I am not certain if you have been given the full opportunity to read the dialog on Beezone that I have been having with Ed Reither for the last two years. This has been a gift and a blessing. It felt auspicious given he had contacted me right after he came from the Island and having had dialog with you Sukhapur. I am actually surprised I have not heard if you both have read it or not! And if you have, even more odd not to have heard anything! I assume there is an explanation for this oddity. It would be wonderful to hear your feelings about this. These dialogs will give you a sense of the process that has unfolded in relationship to Beloved Bhagavan and His Divine Transmission that has never ceased to Work in this being.

I deeply feel that our connection at this time would be auspicious.This flip side of the coin that landed in the "world", at depth never left the Bright Room and His Transmission has proven the Reality Space of Being and It's Perpetual Victory of Only One.

Life is lived, understood and recognized in His Divine Embrace of Being Divine Light.

What I offer you to feel will be a relief to you both.This is a personal gesture and private for us all. Especially, longing to hear and feel your Spiritually Transcendental Process and how it has unfolded and continues. Given the apparently different adventures we have been given, embraced and endured I feel sharing would be auspicious and grant further insight and good news. Mostly, just Loving Embrace.

I offer for you to feel my open heart and voice and hand. Whenever you are able let us simply communicate about the miracle of Awakening Grace in this depth process. Please may this be a direct dialog of human and spiritual intimacy, in Love and Respect. From here I genuinely feel there can be an important process initiated that would be of benefit for all of us and most especially for our Beloved Divine Heart.

I Love you both with all my heart.

My life and heart has always only been Mastered by His Bright Body, Presence and State. What a paradox of wonders! His Bright Divine Emergence and how it does and will unfold is an incredible mystery to behold. It is clearly beyond and prior to while embracing and auspiciously purifying and aligning all manifest forms, boundaries and structures.

Always at His Feet in His Heart Being

Da Love Ananda Bhagavan Hridayam


October 22, 2018 


My Dearest Julie,

Om Sri Parama-Sapta-Na Adi Da Love-Ananda Hridayam

All my love to you, now and always. Thank you for your most beautiful and loving letter, based on the deep human bond established during Bhagavan’s Lifetime. Your letter touched Nadikanta and my heart.

Please know that my deepest response to His Divine Presence Bhagavan Da in the realities of His Final Culminating Divine Sign and State is my constant meditation. Never will I forget the conversations that we would have in contemplation of all the root-realities and Divine Revelations that were so revealed by His Holy Person. This now and forever time continues in a never ending Revelation of Bhagavan’s Eternal Formless Form which has all the same characteristics and virtues that His Divine Incarnation Body Revealed.

In regard to communications between us, please know this is a most busy time for us, until the beginning of next year. The season begins with Naitauba Padavara Mela, then Beloved Bhagavan Da’s 79th Jayanthi,  followed by the Divine Mahasamadhi, and the Establishment of the Spirit Tree of Light associated with Bhagavan’s Birthday – all of these things, plus all His daughters are coming for the 10th Anniversary of Bhagavan Da’s Divine Mahasamadhi will occupy most of my attention. So we have very little time, especially right now.

We hope you find living near devotees of Beloved Bhagavan to be heart-healing and a human means to consider Bhagavan’s final Divine Instructions. Also hopefully Sally and Frans and others may be able to consider these final years and your questions. My prayers are always, and have been always, with you. I never forget the day we sat in Indefinable and Bhagavan Prophesied that some would leave His Company. It never seemed possible, and yet, the realities of it did occur. Never do I judge or question how things occur. I simply turn to Him and serve His Divine Avataric Work  and Blessing Process.

Please know that I have read your interview with Ed Reither – at least, I read the one presented a number of years ago, and I was moved at how you stood free of superficial content in your communication, and how you understood the profound nature of Bhagavan’s Submission Work. In any case, I thank you for such profound communication regarding the years you spent in Bhagavan’s Company.

I am so happy to hear you speak of your heart response to His Divine Embrace. Please know I love, and will always love you with all my heart.

Please forgive me if my letter fails to answer your questions at this time. As I said, I have much about to happen in the Sacramental Sacred Domain of Adi Da Samrajashram and His Global Ashram. Please know you always remain at heart.

Sending you and Nick all my love, always,

Quandra Sukhapur




30 November, 2018

Dearest Sukhapur and Nadikanta,

May this offering bring you joy and my loving blessings. Da! .... bowed down and heart wed in and as Only One.

It is the last day of the sacred vigil in which we as a Prior Unity, integral with all and thus influencing all, again are gifted abundantly with the Reality Realization that there is Only the One Divine Being that is Conscious Light. It is in this very Context that we speak in Love Bliss.

Please receive this gift with a wide open melted heart, mind and bodily being. It offers a balm of inherent letting go that carries a blossoming seed of transformation. And a grace given spontaneous reciprocation that will wash every face and heart bright and allow the Prior Unity to tangibly radiate while flowering out through the Sacred Structures already subsequently Given therein. These Blessed Agencies have been loved and worshiped in devotion, maintained by devotees and the responsive heart of all as the Oness that is Adidam, the all Inclusive Temple of Recognition Response to the Divine Person of the Bright Reality, Beloved Bhagavan Adi Da. His Accomplishing Siddhi of Divine Self Recognition awakens our Recognition Response thus coinciding, which manifests as Inherent Prior Unity, this is the all inclusive Adidam that is emerging and now must fully come alive As The Beloved. This is how I feel Adidam at heart. This is how we have been Unconditionally Loved and Perfectly Know True Love. This is how all beings will be attracted to and respect Adidam, by this same embrace. Humanly and altogether. Open handed and Open Hearted.

It is with a heart prayer that you have been able to read the Beezone dialogs that will give you a feel of my own process over the past many years. Even if you have not, there is one thing that is of critical importance in being able to receive what is offered here. That is that even though our processes have continued on in very very different modes, you can trust the depth of my heart and recognition. The seemingly different contexts of our process have been synchronous at root, prior to mind and seemingly manifest conditions. The coinciding of the flip sides of the coin is a key to transformation. Please hear me offer my heart to you. I love you both so deeply you are in me always. You are inherently integral to the Leela of His Life and thus of my life too. You are Him to me, humanly incarnate as “not other”. Very intimate and personal to me and yet utterly transcended in the Bright Bhagavan Adi Da, Being of Love Bliss.

It is fully by Grace alone understood that this Divine Reality is literally the very awakened heart of each and all that seem to appear as separate or different "others", to whom we are, as One, seemingly related. In this unfathomable Gift of Divine Self Recognition of the Bright Beloved, I bow. I am certain this is your blessed confession too, as would be likewise with an unknown number of other blessed beings who have been thus awakened by our Beloved's Divine Heart Descent and Consequential Awakening Power of the Bright, the Regeneration of the True Reality Heart of all beings and things.

From the depths of my heart there is a swelling of joy, and a humble dose of hesitancy to even speak it. Only in that this heart yearning goes deeper than self-awareness, yet now it is coinciding with vision and voice. It must be spoken...will it be received? It feels truly auspicious! Is this the moment? This grace given unfolding vision is pouring into, up, around and out, a torque of yogic undoing requiring an ecstatic receptive opening regenerative flow that I have not felt in ages yet as intimate as the Divine Love Embrace that can never be forgotten.........cannot be as it is irrevocably secured......this enables the certainty of Bhagavan Adi Da's all Accomplishing Power. The vision is about the recognition response to His Being and Avataric Incarnation of the Seventh Stage Revelation that was fully Accomplished at the moment of His Mahasamadhi. A heart revelation of seeing the actualization of a true incarnate culture of Adidam, with effective and respected integrity, has been given to me only to be spoken to you. I want to share this with you. I would not be at all surprised if these murmurings are not already bubbling around in you! The Beloved of our Heart Moves this to Happen. This will require your reciprocation of trust, which I have no doubt of. As I trust your hearts perfectly. For there is no distinction to be made between anyone in the ecstatic heart yearning for Beloved Bhagavan's Work to take hold, already in recognition of His Accomplishments and Agencies and to thus shine like it never has before, wider than any effort of being, past, familiarity, formalities, structures, forms, action or inaction, accomplished only in Prior Unity. This comes down in the human domain, with no dissociation or abstraction or revision. Searchlessly, effortlessly only recognized as True and Truth and the obvious action or rightening is clear. It is a wholly truly human, spiritually transcendental necessity for survival and preservation here in this world of the seen and unseen.

As you know I have just begun to reintegrate with a larger number of devotees by virtue of the move made this year to Northern New South Wales in Australia. This reintegration took many forms such that I was directly and psychically combined with what is presently Adidam. Also becoming aware of the responses coming back, not at all in detail but enough to feel the present time dynamic.  I noticed a number of things. What stood out was that the gathering of devotees (bonded in recognition and prior unity) formal or not felt somewhat the same in so many respects as I have felt and known it previously, prior to Beloved Bhagavan's Mahasamadhi. This is in the sense of how it is manifesting as a human collective and being received in the world. That Adidam did not fall apart after Beloved Bhagavan's Mahasamadhi is a blessed miracle in and of itself. Many wondered if this may happen and it has not, ten years later! The incredible gifts that have continued to pour out of Adidam to all is testimony to the bond, eternal vow, passion, perseverance and commitment of thousands who have continued to serve or even just hang on for dear life! Also blessed with newly brightened hearts and faces.

There have also been incredible processes and changes occurring and challenges met and new aspects brought into being and a firming up of the sacred structures that are meant to exist to surrender into, to be served. This being done in the face of all odds!

Of course, I am not saying anything here you do not know.......this is a BIG HUGE THANK YOU to both of you for your services. As they have been given to you and as you felt needed to be done, they with so many others have kept what was Given by Beloved Bhagavan alive and aligned, to the best of your ability!

I have also been aware of certain levels of angst around this process of manifestation, especially around what happened right after the Mahasamadhi ten years ago. It seems that personal, cultural and collective decisions were made and locked into place that created a new form of divisiveness in the gathering. This in turn debilitated a core matter of trust amongst one another and leadership. There were also old patterns from the past that continued that no longer "made sense". This affects the entire collective response to our Beloved Bhagavan and His Work and how we are viewed by humankind in the world. That being said it kind of made sense to me that this occurred as this was a continuation of how it was even when Bhagavan was alive! His constant Shout was His Address to these errors and ineffective ways of functioning. So it seems there was an attempt to continue on "as if" He was Alive still.....which has sacred logic to it given how we grew to serve and worship Him, but perhaps some errors too. More time for purification has been occurring it seems. And that is OK as we are continuing to unfold in our response in this most profound process of going beyond all the errors of the collective of humankind and the Great Tradition as a whole! No easy task! And no one  or group of ones can get this right! No victims nor finger pointing required or useful here at all! The collective response is what is manifest today, formally involved or not. So only understanding, compassion and forgiveness is necessary.

Without having to know too many details, again enough to feel the essence of the dynamic, this "vision" of Beloved Bhagavan’s already having Accomplished the turn about, which is just the process continuing, came into being by His Grace. This coincided of course with study, invocation, meditation and open dialog with the apparently existing various differing voices of the collective. There is a turbulence that is palpable and a depolarized dynamic. Yet, it felt to me to be the turbulence of purification a foot and a forked tongue of the same heart yearning of lovers...... paradoxically. Yet not the enlightened voice of Prior Unity, truly humanly engaged, trust and respect at the core and radiating out. Adidam amongst itself, formal or informal does not humanly demonstrate C+T=P. ......can you feel this?

So the vision was a radical sacred suggestion dropped from the Love Bliss Nectar of Prior Unity Itself. When Beloved Bhagavan speaks to humanity about the Reality of Prior Unity he is not speaking merely to those recognizing Him. He speaks to the truly vulnerable heart of all humanly manifest beings, visible or not. All devotees (those whose hearts have been touched and bonded to Him in Love Blissful Recognition, formal or informal, of which there are so so many) need to manifest this with one another humanly before our Beloved Bhagavan the Divine Person Who Is Conscious Light and His Agencies and Sacred Structures can be served fully cooperatively, with tolerance and thus accountability..... then inevitably auspiciously.

This allows what you have been working so tirelessly at to come alive! In Prior Unity where no face, status, position, role, level, differences, location, gender makes any difference at all. Then each one of us, as a collective are accountable to this humanly sacred trust as One. This allows the ecstatic flow of dialog and even debate to come to fruition dissolving differences into right auspicious and blessed action.

This as a Sacred Reality humanly manifest will allow the Bright Room to be where the obviousness of service, function, practice is revealed, seen and trusted and praised. Prior Unity is the Sacred Flow of beings with the Sacred Structures that serve in true devotional recognition.

Amusedly I was moved to replace the word “humanity” with “Adidam” or with “devotees” in the small booklet PRIOR UNITY. This was a blessed gift for me and this is so obvious for all beings as the foundation gesture that is necessary globally. It is happening, of this I am sure. Adidam enacting this in a way that would turn heads, would enable a turn of the tide and the necessary undoing of the fist and twist at the heart root that will open the flood gates of Love Bliss amongst us all.

My initial suggestion is this:

Open the gates of the Sanctuaries to all who want Beloved Bhagavan Adi Da's Work to succeed and are able to embrace Prior Unity, integrate with all very humanly in love, set aside (for the moment) the consideration of levels and positions and functions and engage open dialogs, ecstatic unconditional Leela telling, praise of one another and gratitude, no taboos, Love Blissful embrace and trust and respect restored as a Prior Unity. This means everyone, and the greatest gesture will be from you two, as you are at the core. The two of you being seen to embrace one another this way will restore hearts to the radical understanding that the Way of the Heart is shown in Love's Divine Embrace humanly. Coming down from the Brightness and living amongst devotees so they can feel your tangible human embrace of Prior Unity. I cannot tell you what a difference this would make.

Possibly: As an auspicious timing

This could be initiated at Dana Vera Mela and continue forever and be seen and felt in His Divine Light and Love Bliss....what eventuates. This I promise you will unleash His Siddhis. This will draw attention in the most auspicious way. No dissociation, no isolation. Open Handed and Hearts Happy beyond all fear.

Please share with the Gurukula who may be there with you now!

Yes, madly in Love for sure. The tides they are a turning. Please enjoy this happy

embrace of my heart. This is yours to do what you will with.

In Divine Heart Love


December 10, 2018

Dearest Julie,

Thank-you for this last letter.  Please forgive the time it has taken for us  to  respond. There have been  immense realities to consider in preparation for the Great Vigil of Universal Heart-Prayer as we enter the year 2019.  Your letter requires a very full response which is being prepared under our direction by others to pass on to you. It may take a bit of time given this very busy celebration period.

The last 25 yeas have been so full of Bhagavan's Instruction for His Divine Avataric Work at every level of association.  May the passing on of the leela of Bhagavan's Callings fill your heart with joy.  Much love to you and Nick.  Have a most Blessed holiday and and New Year.

Love always,

Ruchiradama Quandra Sukhapur and Ruchiradama Nadikanta.


11 December 2018 

Dear Sukhapur and Nadikanta,

Thank you for letting me know of your embrace of my letter. I am deeply grateful for your respect and love.

Honestly, I was not expecting you to have to respond to me right away as I knew you were very busy......

The letter was intended as an offering to spark an intimate devotional dialog. I assumed this would be amongst those whom you are closest to and consider your own process with and are thus accountable to.

Simply, the main question was:

Are you aware of the significant discord at the human level amongst devotees (not just those formally involved) that is not a demonstration of Prior Unity?

C+T=P is not fully demonstrated in the culture as a cooperative collective. Therefor there is a lack of honesty and genuine reflected insight being played out. For many reasons there is a kind of coping (for some even a false face for the sake of being allowed access) given the situation seems shift and righten. There is not enough respect going out in all directions to allow a real conversation to take place. Those who are happy to play the Chinese menu religion business game of formalities and ritual may not want this dynamic to change, yet it has to for the sake of manifesting a true culture of recognition.

This is obvious in the public eye also and this drama of human ego politics obstructs the ability for trust and respect not only of leadership but also of Beloved Bhagavan's Divine Heart Way.

This was meant as a personal question to the two of you and the Gurukula and intimate others at the core. Yet also this question is for all devotees to answer. But because of your key role your response to this question sets the entire demonstrated disposition of the Way and reverberates on out. Likewise, those around you may not be demonstrating a right human and devotional relationship to you to reflect the realities that are occurring. I do not want you to become the scapegoats.

The ideas I suggested in the letter were simply that.... ideas. They were not the core matter. I do not care how this happens, just that the rightening happens.

Again, I cannot express deeply enough to you how important this matter is and that this transformation needs to occur for there to be integrity within the human culture of Adidam. If you make the first gesture of vulnerability the illusory ego game as a collective falls away.

I will again be sending this to intimates who know you and love you too.

In Loving service,


15 December, 2018

Dearest Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

So much Love to you both! So many are singing praises of the fullness of the Sacred Celebrations this season. Your services are deeply appreciated, as are the services of so many devotees.

Thank you for suggesting to Brian that he connect with me.

We had a very happy, informative and useful conversation. This will continue

as hopefully what we considered can take more tangible form, beaming bright with healing human love and devotion.

Without talking details and taking much of your time, as I had never intended to do this knowing how busy you are this time of year especially, please feel my love and gratitude that you are staying with me in this dialog. It is gaining momentum! It means more to me than anything.

My heart prayer in devotional recognition of the Divine Beloved and as an intimate human gesture to you is to offer my humble help as a gurubhai.

With my most often wacky, wild intuitions and sometimes too blatantly put insight, that at heart are sacredly aligned (by Grace and with the help of dear intimates of course!) I may be able to serve greater reception and respect of sacred authority in its humanly manifest ways.

Please continue to trust me and bare with me as you are and this could possibly result in auspicious outcomes for Beloved Bhagavan's manifestation of a collective culture of One, in Prior Unity.

There is much I could say, but let's take this up in the New Year, after the !"Divine Light In Everybody (all at Once)"!

celebration and Sacred New Year has occurred and settles in.

I imagine perhaps my gestures could seem a bit presumptuous and maybe even by some "obnoxiously inappropriate" given my lack of participating in the formal sacred processes for a good long time! However I deeply trust this sacred yoga and you know my heart and the inexplicable Great Mystery of Beloved Bhagavan's Incarnation, Emergence and Outshining.

These heart intentions are not about me. I do not care for belonging, status, position or face. This entire dialog could fall away for whatever reasons and nothing of significance is ever lost.

As Beloved Bhagavan whispererd in my ear on the porch of Hymns To Me on the day I left the Island in 1992,

"Always remember our relationship is a spiritual one". Proven beyond doubt, by His Divine Grace.

So much joy and excitement in my heart to feel your beautiful Heart Love and our bond as One in His Bright Divine Being.

It seems many "intimate others" have been drawn in confidence to this dialog. All hearts as One in the Room of Bright Love Bliss, no other, thus no fear, thus no argument or "self" or "other" protection required, only searchlessly invoking the same Transcendental Spiritual Being breathed as One, Awake as One.

All my heart with you and bowed in Love Bliss,


16 December 2018

Dearest Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Once again so much Love in our Bright Beloved.

This is a simple message to say I would like to re-establish the dialog to be entirely private between the three of us.

I was excited and so happy to connect and include other intimates in what felt to me as a purely loving gesture in service and devotion, so that I included a few others. This now feels it could be counterproductive. It is all too easy for intentions to be misunderstood if one is not face to face and also given I have not been within the formal culture for a while. Gossip, ego politics... well need I say more... can painfully hurt and undermine a genuinely loving human offering.

My heart senses that you are both receiving what I am offering with respect and Love and depth.

Please let us keep this here and see where it goes.

Bowed in Heart Love.



18 December 2018

Dearest Sukhapur,

Thank you again for extending yourself to me through your dialog with Brian. What you said felt to me to be your way of saying that you understood what I was becoming aware of that is the present reality of Adidam as it now exists formally. Also how you and a few others are in a process of establishing sacred alignment simply using Beloved Bhagavan's Words of Instruction. I understand all of that sacred dharma as you would know.

I have very much enjoyed the dialogs with Brian. He was suggesting to me that if I wanted to go to the Island I could do so as 3C.

I laughed and told him that was good because I probably would not be able to ever be 2C since I cannot pass the MMPI test!

He laughed and said well that was one of the reasons he never left was because he knew he would never be let back in! So it was happy to be able to feel such human love and compassion in the exchange. He also said he was the one who volunteered to talk to me. I got a big kick out of that. He suggested that if I wanted to talk to someone else he would not take it personally!

I did not know you spoke on the phone to others! I thought your conversations were...well did not really think about it much! Now that can give you a sense of how dropped out I have been. So this is a feeling into process. Can I talk on the phone with you directly as a private intimate human and devotional connection with you?

In the process of "feeling into" Adidam presently my first impulse was to connect with you directly. As this attempt seems to be difficult, I have wondered why given we did this many times when Beloved Bhagavan was still in His physical body. He even called me Himself many times! It seems as though there is a hedge around you that makes you even less accessible than before (even in a way less accessible than Beloved Bhagavan was.....) this does not make sense to me or feel auspicious.

I will never hurt you. Nor am I rallying some collective subversive cause. I have no interest whatsoever in playing into ego politics and games. Or in undermining true sacred authority.

Prior Unity is an inherent disposition not merely a designated compartment within Adidam to champion. It is the necessary demonstration and foundation of a mature human culture. You know this, just saying... does every devotee understand this truly ? No matter who they are or what function they serve? This seems very very fundamental to right sacred establishment of Adidam. Especially given this is a calling for all humankind. Perhaps a concentration on the Prior Unity booklet could be useful?

In Bright Divine Love



20 December, 2018

Dear Sukhapur,

Heart Love in service to the Divine Beloved's Outshining Brightness. It has been my intention to let this dialog rest until after this busy season but it is obviously vibrantly alive.

It has certainly continued to clarify and awaken greater understanding and integrity of action for myself. I am deeply grateful to so many devotees.

This humble heart clearly feels Beloved Bhagavan's Intervention and Guidance. It is an ongoing sacred clarifying healing process of honesty in love.

I have nothing personal to gain or to loose in reaching out to you and to others to have a real human devotional dialog. Except perhaps to serve a further necessary human and cultural healing that is abundantly and clearly being called for and absolutely necessary.

I have felt an incredible depth of sorrow in feeling the human dynamic amongst devotees, not only among long time devotees but new ones also, even some approaching.

My concern is that if healing as a Prior Unity does not happen, Beloved Bhagavan's devotees (as a much much larger and inclusive group than those presently acknowledged as formal participants following your implementation of sacred authority),

will not be able to fully establish a true culture of integrity and respect. A truely sacred human foundation is not felt to be the case by the majority of the collective nor is it seen to be so by vast numbers of the public who are closely watching what happens within Adidam.

There are many respected voices out there that are not appreciating what they see and feel from the collective. I am not pointing to dissident voices. These are wise voices that have much to offer.

I know what it is like to presume that one is being protected and set apart... I lived this with Beloved Bhagavan with you as RSO and the Gurukula. Yet this has never truly been the case. We lived in a fish bowl. We, and especially those at the core, still do. Somehow or other everything ends up being seen.

The wrong relationship to Beloved Bhagavan never ever protected Him, as He reflected to us. We never authenticated the Way of the Heart that would rightly serve Him, with truly respected and aligned leadership accountable to Him and one another. I know you know all of this, as His Word and Shout.

I want to caution you that the same errors are happening in relationship to Beloved Bhagavan still and to you as "RSO". Most devotees understand that this function is performed by yourself (Nadikanta appears on the sidelines) as an "office" presently not by advanced practitioners yet, based on His Word as communicated to the Gathering, restated even days before His Mahasamdhi. Also most do not feel this has changed given no mature culture exists yet to authenticate advancement of anyone's practice, RSO office included. Beloved Bhagavan's Gifts are secured for this to be so, clearly.

Often devotees tell me you are being related to as if you were Bhagavan or an intermediary! Ouch. The same dynamic errors are happening as when He was physically alive and there will be more and more backlash from this present configuration if it does not change.

I understand your (and a small group of confirmed others) efforts of right sacred alignment based on His Words. Yet His Words must lawfully manifest in and through individuals and the collective.

Here is where errors can happen and are happening. If the core decision makers implementing sacred authority were held accountable effectively and live with other devotees humanly and devotionally to do so, this narrows the margin for error immensely. This is not the way things effectively function now. Honestly I am surprised yourself and others would even allow it to be this way given I would think you have more self awareness and other awareness of our individual liabilities. Proximity and history with Beloved Bhagavan does not in and of itself eliminate room for ego errors. Look at history. We all have and need intimate devotees to help us stay accountable for such liabilities. From those of us who know you, you are unfortunately seen as enacting many errors. Even very hurtful ones. And those around you not reflecting this to you are doing you and all a great disservice. To me it is painful to see you being mistreated and even dupped by what appears to be either a fawning or fearful or egoically motivated group around you. If you do not righten this in a direct face to face human fashion you yourself bring harm to Beloved Bhagavan, His Work and all His Beloved devotees.

Because most all the elders of Adidam (of which there are many respected ones) are not able, because of lack of allowed open dialog with one another, sacred respect as One cannot incarnate.

In the Room of Brightness in Divine Love devotionally humanly together as One, this alone can ensure that Beloved Bhagavan's Instructions are carried out without revision. I am seeing two revision lists..... as a kind of dharma debate going on, while the essence of recognition and auspicious alignment as collective devotion as One is being squished out by an egoic opposing dynamic.

As it is being done presently will not go down well as history will see it. Better to vulnerably gently loose face now as individuals and as a collective. The cost to Beloved Bhagavan's Work is too great. Vulnerable human reflections, agreements and apologies and forgiveness and respect are sorely needed. This is a sacred healing not case talk. This cannot be ignored, it will not go away if not addressed.

Most all the devotees I speak to now, many within the formal gathering and some inbetween and some on the periphery, do not feel at all at rest with the dynamic and sacred authority and leadership as it is presently being enacted.

I am saying this to you to protect you and in being honest and loving you . If you are not able to have a wider intimate dialog with very respected elders, apart from those you presently speak to, I am concerned about the fallout of this. It deplorizes devotees and this will create more loss of participants. Not because they are being rebellious but because there is a real "problem" that is not being allowed to be discussed. If this cannot happen within all our groups of intimates and for real it will come out in more damaging and negative ways...

Please receive my acknowledgment that

you have accomplished amazing things, as many others have. This is not about changing your role either.

Dear one it is critical you enter into intimate dialog with others than those who are intended to protect and set apart the "RSO" office. The LRO and RSO office is not regarded as being filled with advanced practitioners and there are also so few in numbers that the door has to open wider or Beloved Bhagavan's Accomplishimg Power will continue to be thwarted by us as a collective, led by a leadership that most do not fully trust and respect. The reasons for this are many. No one person to blame.

Please know I am saying these things because it is really important you understand and change your action as a first gesture of inspiration.

Because you hold such power I suggest you increase your intimate circle of devotional accountability. All I hear is that there devotees serving around you, with you as an authority, but with no real circle of human accountability.

If I was ever in such a position of authority, which I have no interest in whatsoever, by the way, I would be scared to do so as isolated as you are given I fully know my liabilities. We always all need help in this way.

Please take this to heart and if you choose the wise path of accountability given by our Beloved Bhagavan, you will be relieved of fear and self defensiveness and protection and isolation. Trust and full respect can be ensured amongst one another.

This is an open honest loving heart speaking to you so you do not fall too hard when the repurcusions come knocking at your door. It would be wise to stop justifying your position misusing and revising the Sacred Dharma of our Beloved Bhagavan.

If you cannot hear this from me, one that you know loves you deeply, this is very very sad and even scary. I come from a unique position able to see the fuller picture given by grace to be able to bring this to you.

No one else has read this letter (except Nick) and I am not going to share it with anyone else. If I do I will let you know.

This gesture I am offering you is simply a change in orientation and loosing some face. This I promise you will ease your heart and those of countless others. You will initiate a change in repetition of historical errors by following our Beloved's Instruction of right accountability and honesty.

In devotional service to our Heart Master of Love Bliss,



23 December, 2018

Dearest Sukhapur

Much Love to you again and again. Wed at heart in the Divine Bright Being of Love Bliss. Only Love and service intended here to you.

I will be passing on this and the last letter I wrote to you to the Gurukula. I will also pass this on to a few leadership and respected elders.

If you want to specify people you trust to see this letter please let me know.

I need to do this given I am unable to easily discover the truth

of what I hear about Adidam and leadership and the larger gathering. For me to be able to participate again within the present manifestation of sacred culture I need to know the truth in regards to what I am hearing. Some of what I hear is quite disturbing and being told to me by people I would have no reason not to trust. So I have to systematically uncover the truth in dialog with devotees.

There is quite a long list of grievances and rumors that will not go away, cannot be swept under the rug by calling these matters "case or ego points of view". A real process of human intimate devotional dialog with sacred integrity, honesty and accountability has to be in process if I am to resume formal practice. I cannot do this otherwise.

I was hoping to do this direct with you. But I will have to take another avenue. I cannot be a part of the Mummery choir,

as I feel you would understand this about me. So in this sacred puja of finding the truth of what can be called objections or gossip or rumors or dharma debate or revision, perhaps this process can help others become clear too.

In any kind of culture or institutiom that functions with human honesty, integrity, compassion and care, this kind of process must be happening all the time. This would be especially required of a respectable leadership. To be a true leader you also need to know the full picture, or else your manifested choices will be misguided.

I respect your choice to not talk directly with me, yes it hurts. You are lying to yourself to assume it is not personal. It is a sad lonely self protective choice. It is also not a demonstration of human love and respect, that would be an auspicious sign of vulnerability in Prior Unity. No real culture would show such an ungraciously righteous disrespect to someone like myself with the history of process in relationship with our Divine Beloved Heart Master. And I do not speak for myself alone here.

It is also not a way for a true RSO to rightly be set apart and protected. Especially when deeply grateful hearts intentions are the same as yours.

This human healing has to happen. You cannot avoid this necessity. The longer you put these dialogs off the more difficult it will be for you and others. Also it is not S right sign for others to follow. This creates cultism. Beloved Bhagavan's Work with with devotees and the world will suffer in decline, numbers and reputation.

Have you heard the list of grievences and rumors and revision that a majority of the collective feels? These matters have to be seen and understood and gone beyond in Divine Light in the inherent Prior Unity, humanly manifest.

Given you are unlawfully assuming you are

practicing the second stage of the Perfect Practice as a member of the RSO, rather than a student beginner, serving in the RSO office, as Beloved Bhagavan made very clear to the entire gathering, many many feel you are living an illusion in isolation. Many say you serve with others as the absolute authority controlling everything virtually as if this is a monarchy. You playing queen and martyr...ouch...

Saying you live with no devotional group, nor actually living your daily life practice intimately with a group of devotees to hold you accountable or to authenticate your practice within. Also because of your isolation there will not be any authenticate process of instrumentality or true evaluation of practice, yours or others.

Again I tell you these things not to hurt you but so you are not being lied to about what the broader general feeling and understanding about the present dynamic and psyche of Adidam is within the gathering and the waiting, watching and longing public. "Will they ever go beyond ego politics and exhibit truly human maturity from the inside at the core out and C+T=P?", it is asked by observation. The entire world needs this demonstration.

Another question asked is "Why has the Sacred History been altered in certain ways and focused on you?"

"Why are devotees not able to freely tell Leela's" "Why such complicated ability to just speak the truth? Why are you hiding and destroying it? "

Dear Nadikanta has endured her own unique ordeal. The description of how you have and do relate to one another is not a happy one. Also many feel she is unwell. As "RSO" office or as real members, without any doubts or debate required, should be living all aspects of the practice together, especially since there are only two of you at the present time!

As I said I would let you know, I will pass this letter and my last one on to a few others.

If you wish to share these letters with anyone else that is fine.

I have been warned that there may be repercussions for my trying to find out the truth of all of what I address here. There is so much control, fear

and suppression of voice in the gathering it is quite bizarre.

I keep asking. "What is everyone so afraid of?" They say... you and your present leadership group.....being harshly dealt with and loss of service and access.

This in and of itself represents a wrong dynamic of childish and adolescent, Oedipus patterns of NO true culture. Where is the love, trust, respect and honesty with one another for real? NO scapegoats, NO victims?

The negation of this truly human aspect of relatedness does not feel like the process of devotional dialog and service to one another that Beloved Bhagavan Gave us all, and how He directly Instructed many elders in how to manifest His Divine Heart Love and Shout.

For myself, there is no real reason to respond in fear of the presently manifesting authority. I have no fear of losing "intimacy" or physical access with the Divine Beloved, or position or face or function, been there done that! I have nothing to gain or lose. Yet if there is no true culture we will not manifest the transformative recognition response required to truly serve the perpetuation and real protection of His Work. Also there will be no real growth in process or participants.

Dear Sukhapur because you resist accountability your real virtues and the depth process is thwarted and are put in doubt. Please live all day with devotees, speak of the process, open your heart and arms to other devotees who can serve you intimately in your process and you serve them in a human trustworthy and demonstrated way.

Again this comes from Love. There are no sour grapes in the background nor competition. This is a genuine enquiry and heart need to help heal what obviously needs doing and can only be done directly together as One, humanly incarnate.

You could humor me and regard me as a qualified consultant!

Too many devotees with incredible gifts of history, Leela, Love and Wisdom are being wasted because of this egoicically opposing dynamic that is "Adidam". It is not unlike what has happened historically in other traditions and cultures. Adidam is the gift of the transcendence of these repetitive patterns, together as One. No matter what function we as individuals may serve within this sacred structure.

If you cannot clearly remember the things you and others have done that were unlawful and that created this moment of what I reflect here, this concerns me. I would have to ask, are you well? Please know there are so many who want to help you who know you, your strengths and weaknesses, that you are pushing away. I beg you not to do this anymore.

In service to Beloved Bhagavan,


17 January, 2019


Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Bowed in contemplation of Da Bhagavan, Love Bliss of Reality Being, feel again and now and now, my love and gratitude for you both.

My heart continues to yearn to be able to directly talk with you both. Even after all that has been said in the past month or so, I still feel it would be auspicious to set aside the formalities that are in place to enable our human and spiritual connection to be incarnated in present time. Feels so much needs to be shared deeply between us voice to voice, heart to heart. This would be in service to Beloved Bhagavan and His Divine Heart Work.

I regret that this "dialog" between us has taken an odd twist. Not at all what I had intended. The dialog has not even begun really. Seems because it has not been able to be direct that this has made room for unfortunate misunderstandings and further confusion, not clarity.....

Please feel that I am in no way an opponent. This assumption is so opposite to my heart prayer. My offering was not in need of being corrected. I humbly say that I do not need to be told what the dharma is. Yes reflection and consideration is useful in devotional dialog when hearts are truly open in compassionate reception without defence... Yet what was reflected to me has not sufficiently clarified what I am observing about Adidam and precedents that are being set in motion.

What I had offered was meant to be good news, honest enquiry, needed clarification and intimate service.

None of what was offered was about "case".

I am very saddened by the way the egoic activity of the rumor mill, political and social patterns took hold of what was genuinely meant to be an auspicious heart offering spoken to a trusted circle of devotees and yet was turned into fuel for unintended purposes.

That was my fault, in what could be described as a kind of naive idealistic prophetic impulse. In assuming my ecstatic gesture would be kept in confidence and received by trusting and respectful human hearts, I clearly made a mistake given this did not happen. Yet the fact that this response happened as it did, reflected very important insights for myself and showed me much about devotees needs, errors, positive prayers, heart yearnings, questions and intentions.

Can we begin again?

In the depth of contemplation and invocation of our Beloved Bhagavan, this heart impulse to continue to reach out to you, directly, is being given to me as a gift, as a heart gesture of something that must be done. I cannot relinquish this. It is not from "me". It is in no way meant to undermine any authority or sacred structures, but to help authenticate this process even more.

If you sit and feel me at heart in the depth of your invocation of His Divine Heart, Love Ananda, do you really feel you cannot trust me? That my intent and effect would be negative? That I would want to hurt you? That I would want to undermine Beloved Bhagavan's Work? That I would lie to you? That the depth process ceased to occur simply because of distance and circumstances in my relationship to our Divine Heart Master?

My heart intentions are to help you be relieved of collective ego games that are in place within Adidam. This honesty and realignment is real protection of the Treasures. This dialog could aid in clarity and insight and further authentication of sacred process. This would thereby, make possible corrections and set even more auspicious precedent for further integrity and respect for the authority and culture within Adidam and the sacred structures.

If you take advice from respectful and respected public,

why not from myself?

I would be grateful if our dialogs could be private (we can agree who participates) so that misinterpreted games do not play a part in this sacred intimacy.

You do not need to feel threatened by me.

I will truly serve and protect and honor the Divine Beloved Heart in which we are as One. I promise this.

What has begun to spread like wildfire amongst so so many devotees, interested persons and even the public in relationship to our dialog that was meant to be private, will need to be harnessed in Divine Love Light. I was not expecting this kind of response. Yet as a result of this, there are many eager open hearts waiting for an auspicious result by virtue of our connecting. If we do not have a dialog with positive results then this will be a disservice to our unified heart intentions in The Bright Conscious Light.

Unexpectedly there is much respect coming in my direction. This is a means of positive communication for us all. Our re-conjoined human heart demonstration of Love in Prior Unity via C+T=P would be a tremendously wide open happy sign to thousands. I am not exaggerating when I say this. Because the Beezone readership of the interviews with Ed grow and grow and are having positive effects, many respect what I say about Beloved Bhagavan and His Avataric Work. Make use of this with me.

Please receive this gesture of loving service to The Divine Bright Reality Process.

I Love you deeply,

Blessings for your well being.


21 January 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Thank you again for taking the time to explain why you are too busy to be able to humanly connect with me. Although I only really am hearing Sukhapur here!

In gratitude for your response I will not expect to speak now with you or even feel you need to respond at all.

I will simply trust you take what I offer to heart in the Divine Process and Bright Accomplishing Power. This Grace of Love Ananda has proven to this heart It's supremacy.

This dialog is a Prayer of Change that what is True and most auspicious come fully down within the entire collective of human devotee hearts irrespective of each unique apparent role in function so that integrity and authentic sacred process and practice is demonstrated humanly in Prior Unity as C+T=P.

Please understand I do not feel disregarded. I know you love me. I am not concerned about any of your responses in terms of myself. There is no separate "me" in Reality Truth. This is stably the context of radical understanding within which I am Blessed to live. This heart speaks with you in the Divine Heart of Love Ananda.

I know you are busy. As are we all. We all live and serve in Sacred Domain. That is all there Is. I am preparing to fly to the US again (4th time in a year and 1/2) to assist with my aging and soon to pass parents. My father's health and heart is rapidly failing and my mother has Alzheimer's. I was waiting until mid January to try and see if we could serve our Beloved Bhagavan by having a dialog with you both.

It would be useful to be able to read what Brian spoke to feel into your process and in your wanting me to understand what you are focused in to accomplish.

Thank you for your persistence and passion in the unique service you both do. Most of what you said I completely understand and yes, may it be so.

Two of the points you made stand out, that I do not feel are true. One is your saying that I have been absent for decades such that I am unable to fully understand Beloved Bhagavan's Leela in its entirety. This reflects that you have not understood what I have been trying to bring to you as "good news". It also reflects an error in your understanding of how Beloved Bhagavan Worked. It also presuposes that the circumstances of my continued sadhana, while not always being right at His Body Seat, did not effectively continue in alignment with His Accomplishing Power and Demonstration. This assumption is false. The Siddhis and "Superphysics" of His Divine Person, Presence and State Demonstrate this conclusively. This profoundly radical and prior understanding is One of His Unique Signs. This very principle is what allowed His Avataric Incarnation to Demonstrate and Accomplish the Seventh Stage Process in Its entirety. Prior to but fully embracing, pervading and transcending all, awakening Atma Nadi Shakti Yoga as the Bright. I have never been absent. He had already securely wed this being at depth prior to my apparent change in 1992, which allowed my unique process to unfold and continue to serve Him. I have also received and participated in His Uniquely Significant Transcendentally Spiritual Events and the radical conscious, breathing unfolding understanding as a result.

The other point I cannot concur with is that you are uniquely the only one or ones who truly understands His Work and Leela. I have no words to even express how blind this notion is. Because your assumptions of this actually leaves me speechless.... yet curious. How could you possibly assume this? This kind of error

leaves you vulnerable to disrespect and/or fawning false idealism of focus for those devotees who would make such an error of belief. Your unique function, yes of course is significant. Yet not alone amongst the many many many unique relationships, functions, apprenticeships and coins He shaped to serve His breathing down whole embodiment of the recognition-response to secure all aspects of His Work in perpetuity. Saced Structure and Governance is key but not All. If you assume proximity to His Body while He was alive was necessary to understand and continue to receive and participate in His Depth Process and Revelation you fix Him in time and space. Is this not obvious?

It appears you do not see the chasm created as a result the interpretation of sacred structure and authority in this misunderstanding. While trying to only point to Teaching that validates your focus is a flawed fashion, greater depth and awakened understanding is not being demonstrated. You are trying too hard not to be a focus and to be transparent, where in fact the opposite is happening. As a consequence your words, actions and decisions are not always auspicious.

In time you will come to understand, if you will receive this reflection from your gurubhais. Those around you will also understand in time. And some do while seeming to oblige. Many have been unable to feel and thus change the unhealthy dynamic that continues to act as leadership.

You may genuinely feel your heart is true and choices confirmed and blessed by virtue of the sacred domain you find yourself in. Remember however that your grasp of what is real and true could be better served by trusted intimate gurubhais. Remember that it is not uncommon for your interpretation of events to be oddly not quite how it actually occurred or self created, with an odd logic and that others at times find your version of what has happened to be untrue and inauspicious. This is one of the main reasons why, to stay grounded balanced and healthy, Beloved Bhagavan always Asked that you be held accountable and day in and out live being visibly felt and seen within a true culture. You should not be off on your own (even if it is sacred service) while playing the role of authority. You are not the only one mature enough or qualified to serve at the Brightness. How can this error in action ever really become a true demonstration of practice, culture and instrumentality.

This is also not what He meant by setting the RSO apart. Both of you do not even live together!

Unfortunately heart communications that come through me (that are not simply my personal views but represent many heart voices) and prophetic cautions

are falling on what seem to be closed hearts and ears within a tightly suppressive and premature structure that does not readily allow this kind of depth dialog with you both. In this stalemate it seems purification is still required for further self understanding to come to light.

All have had endure such tapas in time and different spaces. We can trust the Bright Divine Revealing and Aligning Light of Love Ananda.

It is my continued heart prayer that it is understood sooner than later. We all must yield to being more vulnerable, devotionally humanly accountable beyond errors, revision and fears and righteous grasping. Of course myself included. I want to be part of a true culture, not simply have access to Treasures. I do not see or feel true culture alive and manifest yet.

May you allow youself to be surrounded by devotees of depth that you truly listen to and trust and therefore understand you both need their intimate devotional human help. May you live with devotees in all aspects of the process, day and night. May you be relieved of the false burden of assuming you are uniquely advanced and therefore know more than any apparent other. That you are finally able to relinquish the sense of entitlement you have tended to demonstrate in relationship to Beloved Bhagavan and His Work, whereby you tend to perpetuate patterns that unconsciously move to own and control what is not yours, never was and never can be. May this error be lifted from your hearts. May you be truly set free, grounded and sane in your humbly vulnerable surrender and insight. May you understand it is not OK to exhibit the kind of reactivity you intentionally or unintentionally have with intimates and devotees who recognize, love and serve our Heart Master. Such un-love and hurt when enacted cannot be justified. It can be forgiven. It requires apology, and change in action.

I trust Bhagavan Da Love Ananda and

His Accomplishing Power is Victorious.

Even as there seems to be a "we" that disagree, there is Only One.

May it be so.

In Loving service


8 February 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta

Love Love. Please receive my loving service to you both.

In LA now. Difficult with parents. But they, as my whole family have been so Blessed. The Shimmel poster is on the wall still that Beloved Bhagavan gave to my mother. Photos of us as a Mandala and my families visit to Fiji also are still up! Beloved Bhagavan said to me that that when He Regards my family He felt it was His family too.....stops the mind.

Thank you again for being so generous and responding to me once again, as I was not expecting you to.

Thank you for clarifying the matter in regards to the understanding of Beloved Bhagavan and His Divine Incarnate Leela. Yes, all of it, by every one Touched and Awakened by His Revelation and Transmission, in every unique detail has to be ecstatically told!

No limits in the telling and yet only Radical Reality Understanding as the Context. That is how Beloved Bhagavan worked and lived. For the Real Leela is about The Divine Heart Revelation of Reality Itself and not the seeming separate "I". Inherently it cannot be understood by only one. All are inclusive in every aspect of His Avataric Revelation. All Aspects of His Life and Work are essential to be spoken of, not focusing just on the last couple years of His Embodiment. Amazing beyond expectations, effort, mind and comprehension.

Perhaps the next time you feel moved to respond to what I offer it could be good for me to speak with a culturally trained woman. Perhaps Dina would be good if she would be happy to? In addition to Brian?

It is very happy that you receive what I send to you both. Hopefully I will hear from Nadikanta too.

From the depths of feeling invocation in Divine Heart Love I am so grateful to you both and for what you continue to do for Beloved Bhagavan Adi Da. It is an always unfolding miracle to witness His Accomplishing Power in every way. Especially in the most unexpected ways! The convergence and coinciding that comes into auspicious being enabled by His Divine Being, Presence and State always Proves to this heart the Truth and Nature of His Divine Revelation of Reality Being Itself.

This selfless and thus effortless Contemplation establishes feeling awareness prior to all time and space and sense of separate self. It is in this Heart of Love Ananda that this apparent being is perpetually engaged in the Prayer of Change for a true alive mature culture to manifest as His Form, in all miraculous and splendid

and mysteriously incomprehensible Forms, formal and informal.

There is so much more I could say and will as it comes. One thing I offer is this:

The necessity to demonstrate how the human individual devotee in recognition response

devotionally considers and demonstrates practice and growth with intimate others is essential to establish the transformative precedent of a true hierarchy and cooperative culture. Necessarily we are all interdependent as part of the collective of Adidam in Prior Unity, a Sangha in Satsang. This is how Beloved Bhagavan told me (in response to my question in a gathering) His function as Sat Guru continues after His Mahasamdhi. As you well know Bhagavan Da Love Ananda described that He must establish a Mandala of Transmission wherein the signs of progressive growth are demonstrated via true Instrumentality. This process then allows true Instrumentality to demonstrate the authentic signs of practice, process and signs while accountably blessed by intimate others who validate any growth, transition and initiation, according to our Heart Masters Divine Instruction and Transmission.

Did this occur after His Mahasamdhi with the both of you in the transition from student beginner onto the Perfect Practice? Who did this occur with? As I am told by many it is not clear what your culturally acknowledged level of practice is given Beloved's Statement to the Gathering that you were both student beginners holding the RSO office. That He was the Only RSO Himself. How were you culturally accountable for anything different to be visibly and directly felt, considered, demonstrated and Blessed? In the context of formal cultural structures and according to His Divine Word, Measure and Instructions?

I have an intuition that in part the reason He Said what He Said is for the necessity of your demonstrated signs of submission and vulnerable intimacy with other devotees to show such auspicious process to rightly establish Instrumentality after His Incarnation. This would enable trust and respect to be established and enabled.

I know I have said this before. Sukhapur if you come down and live with Nadikanta and amongst devotees, this will have an unspeakably positive effect for Beloved Bhagavan and His Culture.

Let go this way in devotional recognition and vulnerability, this is essential for you and others. Allow others to help serve the Brightness. Especially Nadikanta.

I Love you both and always pray for your well being. I so wish we could talk and spend time together.

Thank you for your Loving patience with me. I am sorry I have appeared "absent". What I have been through has been essential and served our Heart Master even though it took an odd twist. May you be open to hear this aspect of His Unique Leela. So many aspects of His Work. This is where I feel gratitude for "differences"! Such flowering Fullness in recognition response. All embraced and all touched and touching.

In Divine Ignorance I am bowed in Love Ananda.





24 February 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Much deep Love to you both. Heart invocations in the Divine Bright of Love Ananda, that you are both well and happy. Thank you both for your lives of devotion and service. I feel extreme gratitude, as I do for any devotee. As our Heart Master Said: "I Give you the gift of one anothet".

Thank you Nadikanta for your Blessing regard in relationship to the fires around where Nick and I and many devotees live in Northern New South Wales in Australia. The fires are now under control. There has been an unusually significant drought in this area which is usually very lush during the summer/autum seasons.

Nick and I are presently not in NSW. We are in LA taking care of matters at the family home with my aging parents. This was passed on in my last letter to you. Did you see that? I was saddened to have not heard a response from you about that, given you met my parents and some family members a few times. Thus I wondered if you received the letter.

It is very challenging to be here during this time as my parents are aware of rapid aging signs and symptoms, preparing to let go. The timing is unknown still but my father is being set up for hospice care at home. My mother has had Alzheimer's, for the last ten years which has progressed slowly. They are both deeply Blessed.

With the last letter I sent, this was the first time in the last couple years where there was nothing in response, at all. That is OK. Yet what would be humanly loving and appropriate is to know if you are still receiving what I send and are reading what I send. Both of you. Please let me know at least if you receive my letters still and feel my loving heart intentions to serve our Beloved Bhagavan by extending my services of dialog with you both in a direct way.

I understand that what I may be saying might be in part difficult to hear. Yet I trust and pray you know my deep Love and respect for you both even as there may be seemingly sticky matters to address. There is virtually nothing I can hear that surprises me anymore or is too difficult.....miracles happen

even in apparent hell not protected in an apparent sacred domain!

Given I am not expressing my own observations but those of many others across a very large cross section of devotees which includes formal devotees at every level of participantion and non formal devotees either "on hold" for various reasons or choosing to handle business outside the context of formal involvement and responsive public it feels important you are aware of what is expressed here and what I have been suggesting for a while now.

I am not entirely sure who makes the decision about what you both do or do not receive. If what I am saying saying to you is considered prohibitive by some I would suggest they are not in right relationship to you not respecting our relationships.

If the broad overview of what is being seen and felt by myself and others is important to you it would be good for you to know what the public and devotees feel that have a significant impact on Adi Da Love Ananda's Work, culturally and publicly. If you only receive

what comes through the bottleneck of a very small group who edit what comes through (as was done while Beloved Bhagavan was alive, in the guise of protection or non-disturbance) this would not be effective oversight nor protection.

As I have experessed many times and even in a repetitive fashion, I feel passionate about wanting to make sure you are aware of more of the realities of the total picture. It seems clear that the mode of communications to you as RSO office are being done similarly as to when Beloved Bhagavan was still in His Body. And as He endlessly reflected this was not being done lawfully or auspiciously nor effectivly. He was not protected not rightly connected. He was lied to and manipulated all the time. This was true of all of us at different times in relationship to Him. I fear it continues to be so.

There is no scapegoat here to singularly blame. It has been a collective dynamic in agreement with one another, conscious or unconscious, to be hidden in relationship to any apparent threat or upset or disturbance or authority and most especially with Beloved Bhagavan Himself, as if this was protecting the Rucihura Sanyasin Order. I have observed and I am told devotees are continuing doing this with you now. This is not good at all that you are kept from realities you must relate to and know of directly. Otherwise governance will not know the full picture, make mistakes, bad choices and be ineffective and not respected.

I have also been told that devotees have been instructed that there can be NO collective dialogs anymore and that certain matters cannot be spoken of at all. So so many are feeling that there is a tight hold on free voice and real dialog and consideration of process within Adidam, saying it is an ineffective structure that has a suppressive stranglehold effect on Beloved Bhagavan's Work and Agencies and devotee voices and His Leela. Many indicate old patterns continue at the core and as a whole that Beloved Bhagavan Himself Said were ineffective and abusive of Him and His Work.

The reason I bring these matters to you is that so so many feel extremely frustrated and defeated and are coping with what they feel to be a failed inauthentic culture and authoritative structure. Both real cultural dialog or process appear to be not effectively auspicious. There is no real and strong Instrumentality which came into being as Beloved Bhagavan has Instructed it should and could happen. No demonstration of that as an accountable process with a mature group of trusted devotees in numbers. A collective game is being played all around for various reasons to either maintain access, function, face or sense of self.....

Many say that after Beloved Bhagavan's Mahasamadhi, you unlawfully secured your position at the Brightness and one by one there was an elimination and ostracizing of cultural leadership if they disagreed with what the RSO office indicated. Especially exacerbated by yourself Sukhapur living virtually alone with Beloved Bhagavan In His Mahasamadhi Site at the Brightness. Even such sarcasms expressed as "you finally achieved what you egoically wanted: to be the only one with complete control over Him and His Work and with No real intimate accountability to other devotees that you are visible to and practice all aspects of the Way with." Ouch!

These views are obviously crippling. They cannot be squashed out or silenced by some sort of heavy handed control. These attempts have made it worse. Again I am NOT telling you these things to hurt you. Many many well respected devotees are saying these and similar things. This includes even some in close proximity to you and in so called good standing along with others who just feel so upset about the obvious unlawfulness of the dynamic that they cope in quiet and keep a bit of distance. Adidam is not unified at heart. This is not the demonstration. It is obvious to the public too. There needs to be a transformation and heart healing that is a spiritual matter. This necessary process has nothing to do with right governance or strict reinforcement of the secondarily responsive aspects of sadhana. This is fundamental Prior Unity demonstrated in recognition response to Adi Da Love Ananda's

Person, Presence and State. Establishment is occurring backwards.......

I often feel how an all inclusive Sacred Healing and Depth Awakening Puja with global simultaneous sittings and invocations are needed to bring Adidam Alive at depth in this way. Plus communication, inspirational presentations and demonstrated progressive process in Prior Unity. And this has to begin at the core undoing the error of how the "throne" and court was claimed and allowed to be so without auspicious process in numbers of maturity, wisdom and training in cultural accountability, by His Divine Word via intimate devotional accountability.

Because there so few apparently demonstrating a required maturity for access and function there is not enough distribution of responsibility and respect and trust. This causes a bottleneck at the top, core and throughout, which will and is seen and felt by many as failing in response, numbers and financially.

Are you aware of the almost catastrophic debt in numbers and finances that plagues all aspects of Adidam?

Are you aware of how disturbed many are at how money is being spent by some when so much is at jeopardy?

Are you aware that there is talk of selling off Sanctuaries?

My sole heart intentions are to help in your efforts to bring full respect to governance. This cannot be done if you say you cannot handle hearing truths. If there is a genuine logic to why you as the RSO office function as you do, this is not clear to all as to how certain choices of governance and use of funds can be justified.

The respect may appear to be so around you.... but I tell you with deep heart love and wisdom you are being fooled. Even by your own choice. This integrity is not happening now and has not ever happened for real. Even when Beloved Bhagavan was still in His Bodily Human Form.

You will remember when he would ask for "God's Eyes" in an attempt to have devotees be honest and straight with Him? I am not sure anyone is serving you this way in a direct manner.

From what I can feel and observe you are even more isolated and less informed and available to devotees than Beloved Bhagavan Himself was......really speaking here to you Sukhamai.

You both live in a glass bowl. Just as we always did over all the years. Your attempts of retreat and confidentiality are not as you assume or are told to be. When you ask or even scream for "protection", this only reinforces egoic politics and divisive games.

Writing letters of apology from a distance does not work. Especially with intimates that NO one has a right to disrespect. Renunciation is not dissociation.

Again I beg you to listen and wake up to what I am telling you here. This is a dynamic of egoic politics shutting down what He has Accomplished. Yes there are many many many ways that His Work is Obvious. But as a Sacred Culture.demonsyrating the tire process and progressive way, we all fall extremely short.

Myself included. I am serving to find the Way of Integrity of The Heart of Love Ananda. Adidam is amiss. The transformation has yet to occur that He called for after His Mahadamadhi.

Access is key of course, as the very means of true process. Yet where is true yogic transcendent spiritual foundation process alive and demonstrated and vulnerably lived as a collective? The actual practicalities are secondary to this as the necessary foundation. It will all inevitably keep failing if debates over the Notes and the Teaching and structure, levels of practice and form comes before Direct Process.

Everything I keep repeating and have been for two years now, I cannot stop saying until I can at least feel you are listening at heart and not so closed that you refuse the reflection of myself and countless others that are willing to participate and serve if only you let go and realize you need human devotee intimate cultural help and accountability and practice consideration. Not like the Teaching Years! Present time Root Reality Prices. Not holding so tight to function, self position and protection and fear. Be brave enough to demonstrate surrender to His Form as the Sangha of true Heart Intimacy, In Love Yoga and Prior Unity.

So called confidential personal communications endlessly cycle through the gathering, beyond and will not rest or be supressed unless they are addressed, given they are our Divine Heart Masters Words.

Here is a small snippet of numerous of the same kinds of Notes about many of us and others.

"So I do require a significant number of people to provide the role of cultural governance exercising My Authority in this gathering as a whole. So you should make sure that's passed on, because I do require that.

Sukha Mai and Nadikanta are not up to it. And I don't know what they can have to do with anything, really. They have worked Me over so profoundly, I don't trust them about anything whatsoever. They just bother Me ceaselessly.

I just don't know what to do otherwise, because the gathering never equips Me with the responsibilities that need to be existing around Me. You can't have the Ruchira Sannyasin Order office be run by these two women. They're not even sannyasins, for one thing...."

Nothing much is me. ....neither Notes past or present nor what happened or happens. So no amount of "rules or codes" will replace direct feeling address in recognition response of Beloved Bhagavan in one another, individually or collectively. This has nothing to do with structural roles or politics of institutional gathering and function.

These are very intense. I have heard and received such myself. If nothing else, help devotees understand how to relate to such communications. Why? Because they are out there and causing significant controversy. Not with a heavy dharmic hand or ignoring them. Or telling everyone talk about self is just case or silence devotees in regards to certain subjects or time periods.....but with an open wise vulnerable accessible heart. Who gets to pick and choose what is true or not in the myriad of Notes passed on over the years? How does clarity come about and how is it demonstrated. As an amusement I could say.... I am still RSO! Not so funny is it?

I bow down in gratitude for the freedom to be able to offer an open unfearing voice and heart to you in Divine Heart Yoga.

I Love you both deeply,


PS Please remember these letters are only sent directly to you through Julian as you asked.

26 February 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Love to you both . I received a request from Brian to speak again after having spoken with you, Sukhapur. I would be very grateful to be able to converse with you direct or with a woman who knows both of us well and was

trained by Beloved Bhagavan to serve intimate cultural matters.

I have very much enjoyed and been grateful for Brian extending himself as he has. Yet he is not a cultural priest.

Also it would very helpful to receive what you say in writing.

I never hear direct from you Nadikanta. Do you receive my letters?

No matter how many reasons of formality seem to justify the in- between steps to be able to have loving, honest, direct real dialog, it still does not rest well at heart.

I Love you.


5 March 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta

In deep gratitude this being is prostrated in the profound gift of clarity, no problem, no need, no separation, non difference. Awake in the gift of recognition and response, bowed round and opened up in Conscious Love Bliss.

Heart broken beyond any reactivity yet in the direct awareness that my service and offerings to you both personally are possibly being misunderstood and not recieved in the same Heart from which they are written. I understand I am enacting a direct and forthright disposition in assuming devotional intimacy and am asking difficult questions. I do this because I Love you in the Bright Beloved as not other. This is all fluid..

It appears as though yourselves and those through whom you communicate with and pass your responses through may misunderstand my intentions. I do not feel a reciprocal human sensitivity, honesty, respect or gratitude. Through fearing perhaps I am part of what is being absurdly characterized as "dark forces" or "case" or "a problem old timer or outsider"..... trying to destroy Beloved Bhagavan's Work..... in addition to a false demeaning accusation of disrespecting or scapegoating you and leadership, there is often an undertone of scripted shallow dharmic defense in relationship to questions or suggestions being brought to yourself and leadership. This feels righteously cultic and dissociatively dismissive.

These calculated defenses and acts of protection and tightly controlled forms and forces tend to create disharmony and distrust. Your actual virtuous heart intentions are not creating the desired result. You are tending to put the cart before the Horse.

Actually not sure what to say about the non response

from yourself Nadikanta. Some tell me you have simply given up, so beaten down.... with the admission that "Sukhapur always wins." Ouch.

Just as many others have confessed to me, they themselves stay quiet so that their service and access is not revoked.... So a game is being played. Where is the honest open integrity of the process of radical self understanding in this? Which requires complete honesty and open vulnerability and accountability? Based in Prior Unity and trust?

Sukhapur your emisaries, bless their hearts and attempts, speak with me in loving attempts, yet relate to me as though I am an opponent. As though I am connected with some sort of dark attempt to do harm or as though I misunderstand. This is so absurd and absolutely far from any truth whatsoever. If you and they relate to myself this way, I am certain others feel this sting of such righteous and disrespectful assumptions.

This sense of insiders and outsiders politics is sickening to my heart. It is all around. I am of NO camp at all. I do however see an awful dynamic that is not being addressed or even allowed to be spoken of. It is exactly what Beloved Bhagavan Reveals in The Scapegoat Book and The Mummery

and The Happinine. Adidam as a collective, being anyone who has been graced with the rare gift of recognition, is not demonstrating the collective transcendence of ego politics and self effort and relatedness. History is being repeated......Not transcended.

My saying this is NOT to discount the extremely significant history and service both of you and hundreds of others have enacted for Beloved Bhagavan. Nor is this about trying to rid Adidam of your roles of profundity and positions of service.

As I have repeatedly suggested however is that there needs to be an address and open discussion and healing and greater demonstration through wise intimate accountability in numbers of maturity and history for full trust and respect to be enabled. You have (maybe even unknowingly) undermined the ability of so so many more than are presently participating, to respect the manner in which authority is being wielded and how it came into being. Also as I communicated the picture you are being given by those who seemingly (and truly too) appreciate and respect the present leadership, some lack full honest disclosure and integrity in how they respond to yourselves and leadership out of fear of reprisal. I am not exaggerating here. Other participants are naively happy to go along, as clearly Access is Sacred and does serve as Agency. And clearly much is offered!

I trust your deep heart intentions and know you would want the success of Sacred Structures and Governance and leadership to be true and effective for the greatest numbers possible, not for yourselves but for Divine Reality Process and Truth. So I cannot withhold these questions and reflections and suggestions from you. Would you really not trust my depth of grace given process and honesty and Love such that you could honestly at heart presume my intentions would be otherwise?

The numbers of those who do offer gratitude and express positively about the presently configured Adidam Structures could be multiplied exponentially if the labelling, picking and choosing and debate based in ego politics, fear, defense and righteous armouring is let go...allowing open dialog and healing and thus collective deepening. This includes everyone, no matter of appearance.

I have no problem myself anymore in participating in such an obviously needed process. Absolutely nothing is lacking in my life and relationship to Bhagavan Adi Da. I have nothing to loose. I am not attacking anyone. Simply reflecting that clarification, different action around certain rumors/gossip /truths/errors (?), present configurations and history require an auspicious healing within the collective heart of all who have been blessed with the rare and unique gift of recognition response of the Divine Beloved Bhagavan Love Ananda.

Sacred Governance and Structures and Codes cannot override or replace this foundational necessity of intimately devotional, human, yogic, esoteric necessity. It is about the direct recognition response at the Heart Core of all, in the Reality Context of all, in Prior Unity. This would be one of the humanly manifest signs of true hearing as leadership, to enable this. Then the Sacred forms auspiciously manifest responsively with authentic integrity. If you expect structures and governance to make this happen, that is ego pattern effort, not by effortless Reality Grace Manifest. No matter how you pull corroboration from the Notes to validate this could (as many do) surely find Notes that contradict! And yet it seems as though it is all "His Word"!

This clarifying healing demonstrative transformation has to be done in very tangible intimate incarnate human spiritual ways. As Heart Given, Guided by Beloved Bhagavan's Source Texts, brought down, opened up and out, in receptive spiritually transcendental means of Grace as One in Prior Unity. Collective Sacred Sittings Devotionally Invoking

this Radical Reality, As Perfect Knowledge, As Context for anything else enacted. Obviously this occurs effortlessly and thus right alignment manifest only by these means. Not the other way around.

As you both know there are many many more hearts that have been awakened in the recognition response than those who are being presently formally acknowledged as the apparent "real devotees". All of these "other" beings are also the rare ones within this apparent hell who are already available at heart by virtue of our Beloved Bhagavan's Accomplishing Power of Divine Self Emergence and Outshining Brightness.

I am simply suggesting a more radical embrace of all is required that undoes the historically repetitive egoic patterns, oedipal, social and political mummy drama to resourse the already opened hearts of recognition. Presently many are being marginalized and discriminated against.

Simply because there are differences in "point of view" that may seem threatening to the present status quo, is no reason to hold such devotees at bay by calling them or relating to them as problems of dark case. This disposition is not a demonstration of radical recognition, not open hearted in Love Devotional Yoga.

I know this is being enacted given this is how I am being related to!

Truly? Can you please at least yourself explain to me directly how you justify this? None of those through whom you communicate have come even close to saying anything to me that is deeply clarifying. These dialogs have actually only confirms my observations about the inauspicious and unhealthy dynamics that undermine the integrity of Adidam as an effective Collective Culture. The emphasis is on dynamic. No scapegoats.

I suggest you consider more deeply why you are choosing to relate to me this way. Perhaps even talking school 6th Stage error? Sense of betrayal at root? You refuse to allow yourself to be truly intimately served. Why?

I never received your response from my last letter.

In Love Yoga of Divine Recognition Response.


PS these letters are still entirely confidential

24 March 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadikanta,

Thank you deeply Nadikanta for your responding. And also Sukhapur for all your responses. I so wish I could see the written versions of your responses to correspond with the letters I have offered! Can you ask those whom you communicate with to do this for me?

I offer this response in Heart Gratitude of consistently received uninterrupted Blessing Grace. Please receive what I offer in this Light of Radical Understanding of no separation or fear, transcending the feeling of relatedness and difference. These offerings are not about the needs of the seeming separate "I", but the going beyond as manifested collectively effortlessly and thus responsibly in the Gift of Divine Self Recognition Awake As One.

I truly would love nothing more than to reflect back to you that your responses and the dialogs I have had with numerous others have been entirely clarifying around the ways in which Adidam is presently manifesting. I can surmise.. but this is not unifyingly useful. I would jump for joy to discover a unified collective spoken clarifying insight, depth and a transformative force of Instrumentality felt. It is sadly not that way yet, such that no further address, in regards to Context, history and disposition, is needed. My persistence in this service is being Given to me to do just as you feel yours is Given. How can these sacred motions auspiciously, effectively coincide, I ask? It seems you both are not taking what I say seriously enough to allow this possibility. I am not a threat or force that can do harm. I am being Divinely Moved just as you are. Why are you not trusting this? If you are...that is not what is being communicated to me.

Yes! Divine Conscious Light and It's Unique Accomplishling Power of Agency is irrevocably true in many many aspects of Adidam by virtue of our Divine Heart Master's ENTIRE Life's Work and Revelation, which continues. And these Divinely Given Gifts are being served truly effortlessly, mindlessly, in spite of our seeming individual persons (grosser and deeper aspects) by countless beings in so many different ways and places.This is His Paradoxical Reality Form. His Work Alone. His Person of Grace. This is entirely and consistently obvious to me in Conscious Light of Being.

Yet this Reality Truth, as you know, does not negate the necessity for certain seeming difficult realities of duality and contradictions to be addressed and that we must hold all devotees actions accountable for, no matter who they are, to truly transform what has and does manifestly exist as Adidam.

Stepping into the formalities of Adidam as it is appearing as a present time "Institutional Sacred Culture" not very attractive to me or to many others given such necessary open, honest, forthright devotional conversation is not being conducted by leadership and freely amongst devotees . As far as I can tell.....

I am not saying your services of establishing Codes of Governance and Structures is not a necessary aspect of this. Nor that enacting priestly and ceremonial worship is not essential. Nor that handling various aspects of mission, education and business in order to serve the Treasures and Culture is not necessary. On the contrary!

Yet it is disheartening, and yes frustrating, that questions cannot be asked and simply answered in a straight forward and uncomplicated and honest fashion. No matter who they are asked of or who is asking them.

When I speak with any individual devotee (formally involved or not regardless of congregation or function) or with a few and hear their Leelas or sit in silent Darshan, I do recognize their heart response and feel Blessed by His Divine Presence in Heart Recognition of Only Da. Each one is thus a precious Gift. No matter what the content in time and space of coinciding. Especially when the Context is In Love Yoga and cooperatively and in tolerance, vulnerably heartfelt human devotional intimacy.

However not any one of us should individually superimpose our own unique process of understanding and ordeal onto others. Especially when serving a leadership role. This is the True Yoga of Radical Reality Intimatcy Demonstrated by our Beloved Bhagavan throughout His entire Life, including the latter years of His Outshining Brightness.

Even as this can Gift be felt at times and in Reality is the Only Truth, the Culture is not fully manifesting by coming down and being effortlessly rested into Prior Unity as a Whole yet. If this is consciously collectively invoked and enacted, ego politics are transcended. Ego politics are still rampant. NO secondary codes or structures are effectively addressing this gross and subtle and causal reality at the root foundation of Adidam as a collective Heart Yoga.

To hear it said "simply become a member of a congregation, get with the program and participate", (which assumes separation and absence on the part of so many) after all the ordeal of Intimacy, Process and Insight and Awakening that has been Given, feels too much like being asked to put on a required costume and agreeing to be part of the collective ego errors of abusive non-recognition that was active when Beloved Bhagavan was still physically alive. A collective purifying transformation in Feeling Awareness and Yoga that truly Understood His Criticisms of "wrong relationship and imprisonment" has not yet

fulfilled itself as a Sangha, as His True Form. This can and has to happen. It will require a change in action on the part of every single one of us. No scapegoats. No victims. No errors at root.

In Truth, I absolutely trust this will happen. Yet it appears in fetal form, with obstructions that are not being collectively wisely and fully related to. This healthy birthing is yet to be obviously and attractively so to and for all. This is a collective fault in ALL those of us who have been Touched in the Gift of Recognition. That number is actually very large and not dwindling, as I hear it appears to be so with those "on the books" so to speak.

I know I appear to be repeating this over and over again. It cannot stop until this is collectively understood. I am not pointing fingers in any single direction. My hands are opened wide in Love Bliss. I am not deluded.

I was very happy Nadikanta to hear you are able to do what Beloved Bhagavan Asked you to do. Is this your writing in particular? Cannot remember for sure and would not know some of the later personal Instructions He Gave you. Do you both make decisions together around the sacred governance of Adidam?

Thank you again for your invaluable lives of devotion to Beloved Bhagavan Da Love Ananda. Devotees would be so grateful and Blessed to hear from you each and together personally speaking about your process. Devotees would be served to see the two of you living and practicing together, communicating as One and serving the Brightness and the Island and other Sanctuaries together, opening your arms to others who are equally as qualified. This will require going beyond fear within present time realities and rigidified form and seemingly inflexible secondary requirements. This Bright Fluidity or Integrity of the Core Heart Yoga in the Real is necessary and for sacred survival.

Please know that personally I am not giving a lot of attention to or believing or spreading what I hear, feel or see. I am not two faced or multi-faced. That is why I am asking for clarification openly. Honestly it is not easy to know what is or is not gossip or what is fact. Especially if what is being felt and heard has a very real negative impact on devotees and Adidam. Not only for myself but for the mission, cultural clarity and integrity and wholeness.

Some of what I am aware of need not be answered... as Beloved Bhagavan's Word in His Source Texts is what I resort to. But then there are Talks He Gave to the Gathering and the Notes and "private conversations" even, especially relevant within the latter years and even days before His Mahasamdhi. It is within these contexts that "His Word" about various very important matters are becoming a potential source of revision, debate and interpretation. More than a few nominated ones are required for such a significant Samyama. Especially those with history and depth, youth and freshness included.

It seems there is not an effective means and avenue of clarification around core matters that cannot be brushed aside. This creates divisiveness and lack of trust, respect and unity.

What is very clear to me now is that neither yourself nor Sukhapur feel such clarification is within the roles of your responsibility or function. Nor do you feel it is needed, it seems. Nor do you have the time to address such matters. I do not know what dialogs you have with those who serve culturally in response to what I say to you.....

However, I have been told you are aware of what is lacking or not right with devotees and within Adidam...but again this is not clear what is meant by this exactly. Who then is responsible for such clarification?

I suggested to Dina and Brian and others that I will collate all these matters of questions and issues so that devotees who are aware (or those who need educating) of these details can have their concerns and questions addressed properly to the point of clarity, resolution and healing. This will require a consent of all participants, no matter who they are. If there is a refusal to participate in such transformative healing.... that action speaks for itself. And this will be known and seen as what it is.... "avoiding relationship"! I have suggested that a full honest transparent non suppressive and unnhibited disclosure by all devotees would

be useful. Too many "ghosts" in the closet of Adidam. Any kind of organized group of individuals needs this kind of "cleansing" and mechanism for it,  regularly!

Nadikanta when you suggest I should not listen to "gossip" would I know if what I hear is gossip or not? Relating to any individual who is saying something to me that they feel very clear and passionate about and needs clarifying or healing, I would not say to them: "drop it, it is not important enough to be addressed, you are just dramatizing case". Telling me that what I am trying to communicate to you is simply about "gossip", is a negation of possibly important truths and actions and is an oversimplified dismissive manner of response. Like "sweep it under the rug... or prayers alone will heal all"!  I am not able to do that. This is not a fault or personal problem. I want humanly mature honesty and transparency and accountability within a culture I could feel proud to be part of. This is not an overly idealistic necessity either. Reality Truth is humanly transformative and would show different collective signs rather than what an ego based culture does. You know all this!

Please also know and deeply feel that there is nothing obstructing "my" direct relationship to Beloved Bhagavan and His Process. No matter what arises, where I am or who I am with. There is no person or structure or form that carries such power. His Agencies are even secondary, as He has Instructed, to His Direct Person, Presence and State. I personally do not have a problem that needs solving for this apparent persona. Divine Heart Intimacy is Direct and always has been. No one and nothing is inbetween.

This Divine Reality Revelation is permanently secured.

I am told you are doing the Prayer of Changes for me.

On the one hand I am happy to hear this. Yet given your apparent unwillingness to receive my offerings as an auspicious service to you both, I cannot help but feel you may be assuming a problem in relationship to myself and what I am lovingly and strongly and clearly bringing to your attention, repeatedly. Hopefully I am wrong.

What is your Prayer of Change for me then?

This would probably be more clarifying than anything else communicated thus far. For how you are relating to me actually says more than the words you are sending to me through those who serve you both.

Dina suggested to me that I am attacking you both and others. Is this what you feel after the last two years of my attempts to reconnect with you directly, out of Love and respect? If so. I am sorry. Not for what I have said or how I have said it.... but that you would feel this. If you are feeling that I am being disrespectful and attacking you, your view of my communication is not being received as I am feelingly at heart offering it. I am not an opponent.

I am not messed up or confused.

Bottom line is that no matter how this dialog does or does not go, it feels very inauspicious that we are unable to speak directly after the lives we have shared with Beloved Bhagavan Da Love Ananda and His Divine Avataric Manifestation. Many many others feel this way too. It is not the "right", happy, loving, devotional sign.

I will be pulling together, with others, questions that have yet to be clarified. Again these questions come from a very broad range of (including participating) devotees. If I am unable to receive clarification by reaching out to yourselves and leadership as I have been, I will have to consider another route with many others. Out of respect I am bring this to you and your chosen small group of leadership first. Adidam and Adi Da Love Ananda's Work requires this collective healing clarification and humanly devotional transformation.

Bowed down in the Love of Love Itself


7 April 2019

Dearest Nadikanta,

In Bhagavan Da Love Ananda as One we bow.

I Love you deeply. I am genuinely concerned for Adidam, your wellbeing and Sukhapur's. I tried to warn you both 8 months ago, what was brewing under the surface of Adidam. This present chaos IS NOT my creation. I cautioned you both about the undercurrent and you failed to grant me enough ear of heart and respect to listen. Why?

It is now clearer than ever that yourself and Sukhapur have entirely misunderstood my heart intentions. From the very first time, approx. two years ago, I wrote a handwritten letter to Sukhapur reaching out to serve the two of you in Love Ananda by His Divine Heart Guidance. 

I am still truly not clear at all why you were unable to receive this gesture as my heart intended.

I do have a letter wherein Sukhapur was open to my asking questions, she invited this. When I did, however, her demeanour changed and became one of defensive distance. It became clear formalities ruled the structures of this Sacred Heart Domain, not the Yoga of Divine Intimacy in Da Love Ananda's Bright Heart. Many told me she esp. has systematically excluded anyone from her circle, even the daughters, who has attempted to stand firm in suggesting to her that her actions are not auspiciously aligned. She then chose those who agreed with her the most to be her "protectors and servants". This was the beginning of many consequential errors.

That, in addition to securing her life alone at the Brightness. Literally unbelievable that this was allowed. I did voice at that time that this was not an auspicious sign.

Now, for the last two years, Bhagavan Adi Da's Blessing Guidance and Grace has made it clear to me that it was very important that I communicate my own depth process of growth and communicate my observations with the two of you and via the Beezone. The Beezone has been a positive influence. Your reactions to me, have not. This clarity from our Beloved Heart Master occurred via puja, prayer, invocation, mediation and study. Also, via greater knowledge of what has been set in motion as "Adidam" especially since His Mahasamadhi.

Without going into a long winded recapitulation, this is the principle offering of insight I make now at this time. I am not a threat in the manner you assume. I am calling/"challenging" you to heart listen. 

The two of you ARE NOT being protected rightly nor auspiciously by those who are around you at the present time. I mean the ones who extend as present time leadership. 

The actions of "protection" and the disciplines given out by leadership in response to seeming acts of "insubordination", that come from the RSO Office, are heavy handed, insensitive, humiliating, destructive, destabilizing and counterproductive. Quite frankly, inhuman. 

There is little demonstration of open-hearted right relationship and respect, let alone compassionate tolerance and loving embrace. How is this not obvious? 

Fear, hysteria and control are the seeming motivating factors of what is matter what fabrications of seeming mind and heart are behind this chaos. Divine Conscious Heart motives are not at the fore here. Where is the collective Divine Reality Priesthood?

It is abundantly clear to a very large number of devotees and interested peripheral voyeurs and interested public that Adidam is a dysfunctional gathering in many ways. Just as it was when Beloved Bhagavan was physically alive.

One sign of this is the fact that open dialog about very serious and important questions is not allowed.

Especially when disrespect by the leadership is not given to a large group of otherwise well respected elders and all heart intelligent devotees. A clash is being observed. That is not the problem. The problem is that present time leadership is performing what is seen as a shut down and cover up for obvious errors of wrongdoing and revisionism.

This why I say you are not really being protected. And why yourself Nadikanta are not protecting Sukhapur as you may assume you now are. She has not respected you. By pretending the two of you have been in synch about her dominant senior role is ludicrous. Her attempt and yours to feel you can sign a written statement that you are and have been aligned, will actually be laughed at. It is embarrassing really to those aware, which are many longtime intimates of yours, younger and new devotees too, that you feel this will solve anything. This "cover up" via obvious lies while continuing to enact errors only makes the situation worse. This is your part in the doing.

Heart yearning voices (not entirely pure clearly) trying to be heard are not the single cause of this present drama. It could have been managed differently without a doubt. Mistakes that were unfortunate happened. The hornets’ nest ruptured. True Priesthood and Leadership need to be open to the Open Forum and call everyone into His Bright Room. No suppressive rules applied.

The reason for this moment is that you have not been being served by those who know you most intimately. Or those who Love you deeply enough and are thus the only ones able to be most effectively honest with you. I am not saying that the ones around you have not been well intended, but there are active blind spots being allowed to operate here. 

These blind spots have allowed lies, revisions and now attempts at cover ups.

There has not been transparency, nor properly effective accountability. There have been financially illegal mishaps too which devotees will hold you and leadership accountable for.

The other error is a misinterpretation of how "hierarchy", "seniority", "subordination", "authority", "governance", "setting apart and protecting", and "leadership" becomes sacredly effective in Adidam. This longtime and presently enacted divisions, the upset voices of many and the suppressive reactions from the present leadership prove this is so. If Adidam is not demonstratively Single Heart there is no authentic Adidam, no stable foundation.

What is becoming evident is that these unlawful actions are being corrected by our Heart Master's Divine Reality Laws. This rightening has to occur across the entire gathering inclusive of every single one of us, given we are all implicated. We cannot resolve this eruption as opposing forces or camps. Only Prior Unity in His Divine Reality Fire of purification and transformation will this self rightening occur. This present gathering is Saint and Ear, just as it has always been, not Adidam.

It is critical you both begin to let go and openly listen. Especially embrace those who know you most intimately and deserve respect as Bhagavan’s wise devotees. If you do not, this drama will escalate and get uglier. It is within your hands and heart to change this present dynamic. You are presently widening the divide not dissolving it. The gathering will no longer cower and be submissively compliant.

Please let us talk in His Bright Light.

In Heart Light as One



27 June 2019

Dearest Sukhapur,

Firstly, I Love you. I know you Love me. We are One in His Heart with all.

There is a very bizarre twist happening here that is seeming otherwise, by virtue of....I would not even be able to explain the why of it anymore because it makes absolutely no sense at all.

How on earth can this dynamic between you and I, at present, be anything other than absurd. Something is truly amiss.

My heart sense tells me that there is immense fear underneath what is manifesting. Bottom line: it is unfounded.

There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of in relationship to me nor devotees. I personally feel in part responsible for why you may be feeling so threatened and for why you feel a bizarre sense of need for protection.

Your ability to stay as you did with Beloved Bhagavan was nothing less than miraculous. No need to speak here about how your patterned character was perfectly suited for how you were able to stay in His Fire and close to His Power Foot as you did.

There was also the remarkable sweet depth pressure of His Beauty Foot too, irrevocably planted in your heart.

You are forever precious to us all for your given over life. Each unique in its own way, there are many others of us who have been given over and made use of for His World Work. You are not unique in that respect.

Especially now in realizing the reality of our Radically True Self Condition, there is no differance or separation between any one of us in this profundity.

Because of how you have for the longest time served as His messenger, you carried a weight that others could not bear.

You saw His Pain and Plight and carry it deep in your being. As do I and so many others. We also are freed by, in and as His Bright Love Bliss.

Your feeling responsibility in the manner He has given to you is unquestionably profound. As it likewise is for so many others.

My gestures to you, from the very first handwritten letter two years ago, was a Love gesture. It baffles me that the present dialog is becoming that you feel unjustly attacked.

No one at all is asking you to not do what you do as a senior practitioner. All that is being asked is to be clearly demonstrative in answering important questions, be transparent, be accountable, live with other devotees. Stop being afraid and start living within a culture day in and day out.

There is no threat. You will feel relief when you do this. I promise.

Your isolation is not healthy for you. I fear your perceptions of what is occuring in Adidam and in the world will not be real if you remain isolated as you are.

The protection you call for is not the caring protection you really need.

There is nothing horrific happening here. Simply trust and yield and your heart intentions will be deeply respected and received. I promise.

Be brave to feel what others say and need to express. This will be your test and demonstration.

I beg of you to lay it all down at His Feet

Welcome others to help serve the Brightness.

Begin to practice with others visibly.

Go on retreat for real.

Fall in Love Ananda with all devotees.

In Gratitude,


14 July 2019


Dear Nadikanta and Sukhapur,

In His Divine Brightness we bow, Love and Live as One. What a paradoxical Ordeal of Reality Consideration His Process Is.

Please, please, hear me when I say I LOVE you both deeply. We could never ever be able to have served our Beloved Bhagavan without you both being as devoted as you are and have always been. In no way would I nor anyone who feels intimate compassion and understanding about your sadhanas wish you to be unwell or be hurt. Nor would we want to remove you or undermine your profound services.


Before you read this. Please sit and feel my loving heart in Him. If you cannot do this at all and cannot feel my devotional relationship to Beloved Bhagavan at the core, then this entire attempt to be in relationship to you or within the gathering of Adidam is fruitless. I am able feel the beauty of both of you and your profound relationship to Bhagavan Da, at heart. I am open. Yet sadly, I cannot feel your consistent openness, vulnerability or willingness to be available at heart as a devotee…. with me. If you genuinely believe I am a significant problem, it will require you to open your hearts to me in relationship in order to help me understand the wisdom you feel I am bereft of.


If you cannot feel this devotional intimacy with me, I will be unable to be honest with you because you misinterpret what I say. The frank way I speak is not meant as an intention to hurt you. This is not about me. Remove the “me” from the equation. I am not crazy. I am not an opponent. If you allow this these dark realities to exit your heart this entire affair would feel very different to you both, and for everyone involved.

I do this POC daily for us all. Most all day.


My heart is intended to devotionally serve Beloved Bhagavan directly, His Person, Presence and State, so that His Brightness can Outshine the seeming separate “ego” acts and be Bright in Him as One in His Adidam. This is what I am offering to help serve, the Real Process. This is not about structures or governance. It is about the fact that there so many signs that Beloved Bhagavan’s Work is not flowering expansively in the world. This is what I tried to bring to you a year ago. A simple shift in the way we all live together in Prior Unity and so many more would flow in and energy and resources would follow.


I also offer to further serve self-understanding in relationship to the matters that the gathering of Beloved Bhagavan’s devotees are presenting to one another individually and collectively, to the leadership and to you both. There is an incredible amount of healing that needs to occur within this gathering.


I am directly personally offering these insights because I Love you. Very few are willing to serve you effectively with the kind of care only on who knows you well can bring. This needs to be done for your real well being as Beloved would have wanted you cared for and related to. Why is this hard to do? In part it seems that the kind of present formalities are restricting this from happening, perhaps a lack of insight, clarity and intimate knowledge of you and perhaps fear, confusion, frustration and even despair. None of the above are a problem for me personally such that I could stop trying. Too much is at stake.


I genuinely also welcome your direct loving response to deepen self-understanding. If I am really considered simply a crazy person intent to do harm, please enlighten me as to how this is so. What would you have me do that you feel would serve this moment?


I understand that you feel this gesture of continuing to try to have a dialog is inappropriate or it is even considered an act of insubordination. Neither assumption is useful to hold in place currently if there is to be any kind of auspicious resolve. I also understand how you may feel about me given my relationship to Beloved Bhagavan has changed many years ago and continued to manifest in so many unexpected configurations.

It could be difficult and even possibly threatening

for you to allow yourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel into His Divine logic of my direct process with Beloved Bhagavan. It has not been a negative. Quite the opposite.


I too remember how I felt about Beloved Bhagavan’s intimates who left over the years when I was still physically in His House. Over time I have now experienced many varying forms of relationship and proximity to our Heart Master. This enables me to offer a unique perspective about the Process in His Divine Company. I can somewhat understand your relationships to Him, His Work and one another and devotees in ways most other devotees cannot. This allows me to exercise greater compassion and real awareness of what you will be having to relate to going forward. Becoming aware of your own ordeal and devotee’s likewise, more recently, while also not being so close to you as I have been in the past, could possibly serve you serve His Process with Adidam. I am not asking for a formal position of leadership. I am clear that I am not suited for this. This is not my desire nor capability. Beloved Bhagavan made that very clear to me. Yet because of the gossip I hear about what you are telling leadership and others about my Process, you do not really understand me now in present time. Nor are you wanting me to understand your Process. If we speak via intuition, memory and hear say through others, drawing conclusions through emails passed around, this will not result in any positive outcome.


What is presently occurring in Adidam, including what happened at the convocation etc is not any single individuals doing. It is that the Sangha is not unified in its practice of the direct true devotional yoga with our Siddha Guru Da Love Ananda as a collective demonstration of prior unity. There is very little cooperation and tolerance and compassion being demonstrated, invoked. The gathering is not being inspired this way. It is just opposing forces at play as egos.

I support no side and am not on a side. Some of what I hear is laughable although tragic.

For example: it has become now more openly allowed (previously spoken but mostly in secret) parlance to hear, in various circles; “Are you pro Sukhapur? Or are you in the Julie camp? Which way does Nadikanta feel today? Are you in the James camp?  So, n’ so’s camp? Are you going to be brave and speak up? I do not get any of this, do you? Are you a subversive in revolt? Are you a follower/sheep? The leadership is to blame! No, it is the non-conformist troublemakers! Are you part of the silent majority? Are you just over this all and so exhausted you want to scream? I do not care to participate, Beloved Bhagavan will handle it all. Ignore it, all of it is just content. Just turn to Bhagavan, everything will be OK. What’s all this commotion about? Finally, there seems to be a collective dialog. Consideration? What is the Bright House? There is to be no collective voice. We do not do consideration anymore. I fulfil my check list and live the disciplines! Why has this taken so long to finally happen? You mean Beloved Bhagavan was disturbed at the time of His Mahasamadhi? Oh, you mean He did not want to be in seclusion.  This is being given to me to do by directly our Heart Master in His Divine Love. His Shout is making me do this. You mean we can now tell all the Leelas?” On and on…..


With every part of this very humbled devotee and entire heart In His Heart I deeply Love both of you. I always have and never have lost this depth of open-heart intimacy with you. It seems you feel differently, each of you in your own way. This is the primary sign in my heart that says, “something is very amiss”. The way you and some devotees have been relating to me and to one another is not a sign of His Divine Embrace nor human compassion, cooperation and tolerance. The fact that you feel this way about how I relate to you is also a bizarre reality.


My honest and direct heart approach to you is genuine and about real understanding and concern about the continuation of His Work. I have already enumerated these signs to you many times before. If Beloved Bhagavan walked onto the MOA today……ouch. If He Sat with any of His devotees with the psyche of Adidam that has not been lawfully purified and transformed…ouch. If we told Him the new codes of governance and the structures would make our relationship to Him right and then He will see the signs…ouch. “He” now feels the result of all of this…we are working on it approach. All that we are and have been doing collectively would not stop His Shout. We never did what He Asked to stop His Shout. His Shout has been now been made obscure. His Shout is not the Process. His Shout does not purify. It was meant to show us what He was REALLY experiencing and to move us. Response and action in the direct yoga with Him in enough collective numbers that changes “His” experience has yet to happen. This Signs would be there if this was happening. They are not yet tangibly incarnate. This is no individual fault. It is a collective fault. It always has been. No one or small group can make what needs to happen, Happen. He has Happened. “We” as a recognition response have not. I cannot imagine this is not clear to you both.


What I have been trying to elicit from you and devotees is clarity around of so many different disturbing matters that plague many devotees. By now you would understand that the letters I wrote to you were not about me. The mere fact of not being able to speak to you both openly so all devotees hear about your Process is a great disservice to Beloved Bhagavan and His Work and devotees.


Nadikanta, you were at the MOA as a member of the RSO office with the convocation occurring your heart voice as an honest open present devotional voice was absent. Devotees notice your absence in this service and wonder why. This inability to connect directly simply feels inauspicious, no matter what formal structures are put in place to seemingly validate your asanas.

True Instrumentality could not effectively function this way, especially with the numbers being so small and the culture only in the beginning steps of a process of authentication. There are also inconsistencies in the formalities in terms of how they are embraced by each of you.  For example; the two of you, as serving members of the RSO office live entirely different lives.


Nadikanta, you speak to public and yet not to me. Sukhapur, the oddities around your reasons for refusing to speak with me make no heart sense at all. I have never given either of you any personal nor devotional reasons to not trust me. Ever. Whoever is suggesting you do not speak to me are doing you both a great disservice. I suggest they are protecting themselves, not the two of you.


Therefore, I have been persisting in asking for an open dialog. Now this has begun within the entire worldwide gathering. It is being required of leadership and by the Bright House as a necessity. This Grace Given Process cannot be stopped until this open forum happens Lawfully. It needs every single one of us involved. Most especially the two of you. The leadership you have had around you are not capable of rightly presenting you to devotees and your voice and Process of clarification.


I am a devotee bonded to Adi Da and have maintained my direct vow with Him as He instructed me personally. Have I done so perfectly? No, far from it. Did I ever? No. Did any of us? No. Not one of us. Is reparation required in my own case? Yes. Is it so of all? Yes. As a collective? Yes. Not one of us can hold a righteous candle in the air and sustain its meagre light.


In 2006 One of the principle reasons I left living within the Culture was because I could no longer live the way all devotees were living around Beloved Bhagavan. Myself included. It caused awful symptoms in me and rendered me dis-functional and ill. I communicated this to Beloved Bhagavan numerous times. He Blessed me to do whatever I needed to do to stay well. He Gave me specific human life matters I needed to fulfil. Primarily a lot of it was ended up being about survival and human growth beyond the errors I enacted around Him. However, I was never told until a year ago He had Asked a certain man with financial means within the Culture to make sure I was cared for and that financially I was supported as need be. This was never done nor told to me. I was told He Asked them to “give me anything I asked for”. This likewise was never told to me.


Over time it became clear that neither any of us around Him directly nor in the general culture was there a process of integrity that enabled one to fully practice in right relationship to Him. I stood at the kitchen door of the Manner of Flowers and asked you to tell Beloved Bhagavan that “I simply could not do this anymore”. At that time, you were happy to tell Him this as I could feel you had begun to express complications about my being around Him. Which to this day are unclear to me as to why you felt as you did about my serving Him intimately again. Herein lies the apparent problem you have had with me Sukhapur. I have now heard you say too many times “You are not supposed to be here”. To this day I do not know what you mean when you say this. I did ask Beloved Bhagavan what you meant by this. He Said to me “I do not want to hear about her bullshit, or your bullshit. I Asked you here to serve ME DIRECTLY!” It was after this very conversation that He began His “MY House” Process because He said to me minutes before He began this (Yuki and Jacqueline were standing with me in the kitchen) “Well obviously no one is prepared to serve ME so I am going to have to serve Myself. This is MY HOUSE!”


Later, I had to make a very conscious choice (Blessed by Him) to live hours away from devotees at the Buln Buln Cabins. I had to confess that I found the “culture” to be “bad company”, as if stuck in a surreal nightmare. Not as though I was “advanced or pure, better” than any other. Absolutely NOT what I felt at all. My despair and frustration about Beloved Bhagavan’s Plight and the seeming inability to “make it right” were a hell for me. You will remember how unwell I would feel around Him at times. For my own health and well- being His primary Admonition to me was to attend to my well-being and in doing so to not dissociate from Him and to stay connected with devotees. I had to make difficult choices in response to His Guidance. Nick and I did move closer into Melbourne at that time in response to what He Said to me and tried to be part of the culture there. But then it became clear, I could only stay connected with a few devotees. This continued for years. I am sorry for this. Now here I am, and it feels worse than ever before. I am extremely sad about this an take no pleasure in confessing this to you both at all.


Yet Beloved Bhagavan Himself proved to me “Always remember our relationship is a Spiritual one” as Truth and True. This is what He whispered in my ear in 1992 the day I left the Island. This has been repeatedly and now consistently proven by Him in this humble heart. You will never understand the ordeal I have been through, unless you are open to me. Many other intimates of Beloved Bhagavan have been through remarkable processes. If your hearts would be open to such significant confessions of Process, this would clarify and heal so much. As would be likewise if we could hear of yours. All in His Bright House. His Leela.


I Beloved Bhagavan I bow, and to no other


21 July,  2019

Dear Nadikanta and Sukhapur,

In His Heart of Bright Love.

Please, please, please appeal to your vulnerable inmost human hearts in this critical juncture in time and space.

This Happening Reality Consideration occurring in Adidam, as a much larger collective than meets the eye, cannot be stopped. It is obviously so much larger than all of "us" as the devotee participants, in His Grace.

His Purifying and Transforming Siddhis are clearly Alive and at Work amongst us all.

The outcome of this depends on each one of us to mindlessly surrender by His Transmission and thereby to not indulge in dissociative structural abstractions or dharmic debates, or power and position struggles. This is getting very personal for each one of us. About both devotion to Him directly and human intimacies in life.

Many are feeling very hurt because of the refusal on the part of the leadership and by both of your asanas that is not allowing necessary intimate healing dialogs that must take place within our Culture, among families and intimates too.

This needs to occur on many levels. The Bright House Open Forum is only one context. Yet the real crux of the conversations is very personal. They are about Love manifest in relationship, deepening self-understanding and growth and more to the depth point. It is about the Incarnation of His Unqualified Open-Eyed Love, humanly. This Way if rightly lived is the Perfect Demonstration of Love Lived during many different life configurations based in heart reality choices and impulse.

This healing is not about "cases". It is about healing our collective wrong relationship to Beloved Bhagavan Adi Da and one another in very direct, most sacred intimate and yogic terms.

Bhagavan Adi Da, His Person, Presence and State of Being and His entire gathering and beyond, need this for the sake of His Divine Work in perpetuity.

To be even more precise, the

gossip of hurtful and belittling dialog coming out of Hermitage about Beloved's daughters and others, including myself, is quite frankly disgusting.

As are the hurtful dialogs happening anywhere within Adidam.

This is not a threat. This is a warning. It is going too far. Hermitage itself at the core is magnifying a war of apparent opponents. Where is the demonstration of dissolving the "them and us" asana? Ego politics....

It is true that there are hurtful actions coming from all directions. That is why a different demonstration from yourselves is required.

Yet you both are appearing and felt as orchestrators and as puppets behind a monster of a chaos called Adidam. It is a storm. It could be auspicious if there are Reality Priests and Priestesses at the Eye.

It does not feel like this thus far. More like overstressed, overworked, defensive owners and managers trying to save face and projects. Ouch. I know honest reflection hurts. We are all feeling wounded.

Yet the general gathering has made it more than abundantly clear that a real dialog must happen. On many levels with varying configurations. The crux of this is an intimate dialog with the two of you. Not on the Brightness grounds.

If this does not happen soon, by your own movement of good grace, you yourselves will create the very thing you fear.

This is not a threat. It is a caution, because many deeply care what happens for you both going forward. As do many feel likewise for leadership itself. Clearly those around you seemingly do not understand the depth of the dynamic that is being created by not serving to help you facilitate this.

More and more are likely to be exposed if you do not allow this vulnerable process of intimate trusted accountability. You are pushing way too many very intelligent, strong, capable and passionate devotees with great depth of heart history and insight, into a corner. They will not submit, no matter how your cover up twistedly speaks or how loud you scream or push back.

This is not a threat. This is Divine Reality Law, Self rightening...manifesting now.

In His Heart Fire and Water Of and As Bright Grace.