"EVELYN" EXPOSED AND FREED - ADI DA SAMRAJ DIVINE WISDOM
 

17 January, 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Bowed in contemplation of Da Bhagavan, Love Bliss of Reality Being, feel again and now and now, my love and gratitude for you both.

My heart continues to yearn to be able to directly talk with you both. Even after all that has been said in the past month or so, I still feel it would be auspicious to set aside the formalities that are in place to enable our human and spiritual connection to be incarnated in present time. Feels so much needs to be shared deeply between us voice to voice, heart to heart. This would be in service to Beloved Bhagavan and His Divine Heart Work.

I regret that this "dialog" between us has taken an odd twist. Not at all what I had intended. The dialog has not even begun really. Seems because it has not been able to be direct that this has made room for unfortunate misunderstandings and further confusion, not clarity.....

Please feel that I am in no way an opponent. This assumption is so opposite to my heart prayer. My offering was not in need of being corrected. I humbly say that I do not need to be told what the dharma is. Yes reflection and consideration is useful in devotional dialog when hearts are truly open in compassionate reception without defence... Yet what was reflected to me has not sufficiently clarified what I am observing about Adidam and precedents that are being set in motion.

What I had offered was meant to be good news, honest enquiry, needed clarification and intimate service.

None of what was offered was about "case".

I am very saddened by the way the egoic activity of the rumor mill, political and social patterns took hold of what was genuinely meant to be an auspicious heart offering spoken to a trusted circle of devotees and yet was turned into fuel for unintended purposes.

That was my fault, in what could be described as a kind of naive idealistic prophetic impulse. In assuming my ecstatic gesture would be kept in confidence and received by trusting and respectful human hearts, I clearly made a mistake given this did not happen. Yet the fact that this response happened as it did, reflected very important insights for myself and showed me much about devotees needs, errors, positive prayers, heart yearnings, questions and intentions.

Can we begin again?

In the depth of contemplation and invocation of our Beloved Bhagavan, this heart impulse to continue to reach out to you, directly, is being given to me as a gift, as a heart gesture of something that must be done. I cannot relinquish this. It is not from "me". It is in no way meant to undermine any authority or sacred structures, but to help authenticate this process even more.

If you sit and feel me at heart in the depth of your invocation of His Divine Heart, Love Ananda, do you really feel you cannot trust me? That my intent and effect would be negative? That I would want to hurt you? That I would want to undermine Beloved Bhagavan's Work? That I would lie to you? That the depth process ceased to occur simply because of distance and circumstances in my relationship to our Divine Heart Master?

My heart intentions are to help you be relieved of collective ego games that are in place within Adidam. This honesty and realignment is real protection of the Treasures. This dialog could aid in clarity and insight and further authentication of sacred process. This would thereby, make possible corrections and set even more auspicious precedent for further integrity and respect for the authority and culture within Adidam and the sacred structures.

If you take advice from respectful and respected public,

why not from myself?

I would be grateful if our dialogs could be private (we can agree who participates) so that misinterpreted games do not play a part in this sacred intimacy.

You do not need to feel threatened by me.

I will truly serve and protect and honor the Divine Beloved Heart in which we are as One. I promise this.

What has begun to spread like wildfire amongst so so many devotees, interested persons and even the public in relationship to our dialog that was meant to be private, will need to be harnessed in Divine Love Light. I was not expecting this kind of response. Yet as a result of this, there are many eager open hearts waiting for an auspicious result by virtue of our connecting. If we do not have a dialog with positive results then this will be a disservice to our unified heart intentions in The Bright Conscious Light.

Unexpectedly there is much respect coming in my direction. This is a means of positive communication for us all. Our re-conjoined human heart demonstration of Love in Prior Unity via C+T=P would be a tremendously wide open happy sign to thousands. I am not exaggerating when I say this. Because the Beezone readership of the interviews with Ed grow and grow and are having positive effects, many respect what I say about Beloved Bhagavan and His Avataric Work. Make use of this with me.

Please receive this gesture of loving service to The Divine Bright Reality Process.

I Love you deeply,

Blessings for your well being.

Julie

​

21 January 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Thank you again for taking the time to explain why you are too busy to be able to humanly connect with me. Although I only really am hearing Sukhapur here!

In gratitude for your response I will not expect to speak now with you or even feel you need to respond at all.

I will simply trust you take what I offer to heart in the Divine Process and Bright Accomplishing Power. This Grace of Love Ananda has proven to this heart It's supremacy.

This dialog is a Prayer of Change that what is True and most auspicious come fully down within the entire collective of human devotee hearts irrespective of each unique apparent role in function so that integrity and authentic sacred process and practice is demonstrated humanly in Prior Unity as C+T=P.

Please understand I do not feel disregarded. I know you love me. I am not concerned about any of your responses in terms of myself. There is no separate "me" in Reality Truth. This is stably the context of radical understanding within which I am Blessed to live. This heart speaks with you in the Divine Heart of Love Ananda.

I know you are busy. As are we all. We all live and serve in Sacred Domain. That is all there Is. I am preparing to fly to the US again (4th time in a year and 1/2) to assist with my aging and soon to pass parents. My father's health and heart is rapidly failing and my mother has Alzheimer's. I was waiting until mid January to try and see if we could serve our Beloved Bhagavan by having a dialog with you both.

It would be useful to be able to read what Brian spoke to feel into your process and in your wanting me to understand what you are focused in to accomplish.

Thank you for your persistence and passion in the unique service you both do. Most of what you said I completely understand and yes, may it be so.

Two of the points you made stand out, that I do not feel are true. One is your saying that I have been absent for decades such that I am unable to fully understand Beloved Bhagavan's Leela in its entirety. This reflects that you have not understood what I have been trying to bring to you as "good news". It also reflects an error in your understanding of how Beloved Bhagavan Worked. It also presuposes that the circumstances of my continued sadhana, while not always being right at His Body Seat, did not effectively continue in alignment with His Accomplishing Power and Demonstration. This assumption is false. The Siddhis and "Superphysics" of His Divine Person, Presence and State Demonstrate this conclusively. This profoundly radical and prior understanding is One of His Unique Signs. This very principle is what allowed His Avataric Incarnation to Demonstrate and Accomplish the Seventh Stage Process in Its entirety. Prior to but fully embracing, pervading and transcending all, awakening Atma Nadi Shakti Yoga as the Bright. I have never been absent. He had already securely wed this being at depth prior to my apparent change in 1992, which allowed my unique process to unfold and continue to serve Him. I have also received and participated in His Uniquely Significant Transcendentally Spiritual Events and the radical conscious, breathing unfolding understanding as a result.

The other point I cannot concur with is that you are uniquely the only one or ones who truly understands His Work and Leela. I have no words to even express how blind this notion is. Because your assumptions of this actually leaves me speechless.... yet curious. How could you possibly assume this? This kind of error

leaves you vulnerable to disrespect and/or fawning false idealism of focus for those devotees who would make such an error of belief. Your unique function, yes of course is significant. Yet not alone amongst the many many many unique relationships, functions, apprenticeships and coins He shaped to serve His breathing down whole embodiment of the recognition-response to secure all aspects of His Work in perpetuity. Saced Structure and Governance is key but not All. If you assume proximity to His Body while He was alive was necessary to understand and continue to receive and participate in His Depth Process and Revelation you fix Him in time and space. Is this not obvious?

It appears you do not see the chasm created as a result the interpretation of sacred structure and authority in this misunderstanding. While trying to only point to Teaching that validates your focus is a flawed fashion, greater depth and awakened understanding is not being demonstrated. You are trying too hard not to be a focus and to be transparent, where in fact the opposite is happening. As a consequence your words, actions and decisions are not always auspicious.

In time you will come to understand, if you will receive this reflection from your gurubhais. Those around you will also understand in time. And some do while seeming to oblige. Many have been unable to feel and thus change the unhealthy dynamic that continues to act as leadership.

You may genuinely feel your heart is true and choices confirmed and blessed by virtue of the sacred domain you find yourself in. Remember however that your grasp of what is real and true could be better served by trusted intimate gurubhais. Remember that it is not uncommon for your interpretation of events to be oddly not quite how it actually occurred or self created, with an odd logic and that others at times find your version of what has happened to be untrue and inauspicious. This is one of the main reasons why, to stay grounded balanced and healthy, Beloved Bhagavan always Asked that you be held accountable and day in and out live being visibly felt and seen within a true culture. You should not be off on your own (even if it is sacred service) while playing the role of authority. You are not the only one mature enough or qualified to serve at the Brightness. How can this error in action ever really become a true demonstration of practice, culture and instrumentality.

This is also not what He meant by setting the RSO apart. Both of you do not even live together!

Unfortunately heart communications that come through me (that are not simply my personal views but represent many heart voices) and prophetic cautions

are falling on what seem to be closed hearts and ears within a tightly suppressive and premature structure that does not readily allow this kind of depth dialog with you both. In this stalemate it seems purification is still required for further self understanding to come to light.

All have had endure such tapas in time and different spaces. We can trust the Bright Divine Revealing and Aligning Light of Love Ananda.

It is my continued heart prayer that it is understood sooner than later. We all must yield to being more vulnerable, devotionally humanly accountable beyond errors, revision and fears and righteous grasping. Of course myself included. I want to be part of a true culture, not simply have access to Treasures. I do not see or feel true culture alive and manifest yet.

May you allow youself to be surrounded by devotees of depth that you truly listen to and trust and therefore understand you both need their intimate devotional human help. May you live with devotees in all aspects of the process, day and night. May you be relieved of the false burden of assuming you are uniquely advanced and therefore know more than any apparent other. That you are finally able to relinquish the sense of entitlement you have tended to demonstrate in relationship to Beloved Bhagavan and His Work, whereby you tend to perpetuate patterns that unconsciously move to own and control what is not yours, never was and never can be. May this error be lifted from your hearts. May you be truly set free, grounded and sane in your humbly vulnerable surrender and insight. May you understand it is not OK to exhibit the kind of reactivity you intentionally or unintentionally have with intimates and devotees who recognize, love and serve our Heart Master. Such un-love and hurt when enacted cannot be justified. It can be forgiven. It requires apology, and change in action.

I trust Bhagavan Da Love Ananda and

His Accomplishing Power is Victorious.

Even as there seems to be a "we" that disagree, there is Only One.

May it be so.

In Loving service

Julie

​

8 February 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta

Love Love. Please receive my loving service to you both.

In LA now. Difficult with parents. But they, as my whole family have been so Blessed. The Shimmel poster is on the wall still that Beloved Bhagavan gave to my mother. Photos of us as a Mandala and my families visit to Fiji also are still up! Beloved Bhagavan said to me that that when He Regards my family He felt it was His family too.....stops the mind.

Thank you again for being so generous and responding to me once again, as I was not expecting you to.

Thank you for clarifying the matter in regards to the understanding of Beloved Bhagavan and His Divine Incarnate Leela. Yes, all of it, by every one Touched and Awakened by His Revelation and Transmission, in every unique detail has to be ecstatically told!

No limits in the telling and yet only Radical Reality Understanding as the Context. That is how Beloved Bhagavan worked and lived. For the Real Leela is about The Divine Heart Revelation of Reality Itself and not the seeming separate "I". Inherently it cannot be understood by only one. All are inclusive in every aspect of His Avataric Revelation. All Aspects of His Life and Work are essential to be spoken of, not focusing just on the last couple years of His Embodiment. Amazing beyond expectations, effort, mind and comprehension.

Perhaps the next time you feel moved to respond to what I offer it could be good for me to speak with a culturally trained woman. Perhaps Dina would be good if she would be happy to? In addition to Brian?

It is very happy that you receive what I send to you both. Hopefully I will hear from Nadikanta too.

From the depths of feeling invocation in Divine Heart Love I am so grateful to you both and for what you continue to do for Beloved Bhagavan Adi Da. It is an always unfolding miracle to witness His Accomplishing Power in every way. Especially in the most unexpected ways! The convergence and coinciding that comes into auspicious being enabled by His Divine Being, Presence and State always Proves to this heart the Truth and Nature of His Divine Revelation of Reality Being Itself.

This selfless and thus effortless Contemplation establishes feeling awareness prior to all time and space and sense of separate self. It is in this Heart of Love Ananda that this apparent being is perpetually engaged in the Prayer of Change for a true alive mature culture to manifest as His Form, in all miraculous and splendid

and mysteriously incomprehensible Forms, formal and informal.

There is so much more I could say and will as it comes. One thing I offer is this:

The necessity to demonstrate how the human individual devotee in recognition response

devotionally considers and demonstrates practice and growth with intimate others is essential to establish the transformative precedent of a true hierarchy and cooperative culture. Necessarily we are all interdependent as part of the collective of Adidam in Prior Unity, a Sangha in Satsang. This is how Beloved Bhagavan told me (in response to my question in a gathering) His function as Sat Guru continues after His Mahasamdhi. As you well know Bhagavan Da Love Ananda described that He must establish a Mandala of Transmission wherein the signs of progressive growth are demonstrated via true Instrumentality. This process then allows true Instrumentality to demonstrate the authentic signs of practice, process and signs while accountably blessed by intimate others who validate any growth, transition and initiation, according to our Heart Masters Divine Instruction and Transmission.

Did this occur after His Mahasamdhi with the both of you in the transition from student beginner onto the Perfect Practice? Who did this occur with? As I am told by many it is not clear what your culturally acknowledged level of practice is given Beloved's Statement to the Gathering that you were both student beginners holding the RSO office. That He was the Only RSO Himself. How were you culturally accountable for anything different to be visibly and directly felt, considered, demonstrated and Blessed? In the context of formal cultural structures and according to His Divine Word, Measure and Instructions?

I have an intuition that in part the reason He Said what He Said is for the necessity of your demonstrated signs of submission and vulnerable intimacy with other devotees to show such auspicious process to rightly establish Instrumentality after His Incarnation. This would enable trust and respect to be established and enabled.

I know I have said this before. Sukhapur if you come down and live with Nadikanta and amongst devotees, this will have an unspeakably positive effect for Beloved Bhagavan and His Culture.

Let go this way in devotional recognition and vulnerability, this is essential for you and others. Allow others to help serve the Brightness. Especially Nadikanta.

I Love you both and always pray for your well being. I so wish we could talk and spend time together.

Thank you for your Loving patience with me. I am sorry I have appeared "absent". What I have been through has been essential and served our Heart Master even though it took an odd twist. May you be open to hear this aspect of His Unique Leela. So many aspects of His Work. This is where I feel gratitude for "differences"! Such flowering Fullness in recognition response. All embraced and all touched and touching.

In Divine Ignorance I am bowed in Love Ananda.

Julie

24 February 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Much deep Love to you both. Heart invocations in the Divine Bright of Love Ananda, that you are both well and happy. Thank you both for your lives of devotion and service. I feel extreme gratitude, as I do for any devotee. As our Heart Master Said: "I Give you the gift of one anothet".

Thank you Nadikanta for your Blessing regard in relationship to the fires around where Nick and I and many devotees live in Northern New South Wales in Australia. The fires are now under control. There has been an unusually significant drought in this area which is usually very lush during the summer/autum seasons.

Nick and I are presently not in NSW. We are in LA taking care of matters at the family home with my aging parents. This was passed on in my last letter to you. Did you see that? I was saddened to have not heard a response from you about that, given you met my parents and some family members a few times. Thus I wondered if you received the letter.

It is very challenging to be here during this time as my parents are aware of rapid aging signs and symptoms, preparing to let go. The timing is unknown still but my father is being set up for hospice care at home. My mother has had Alzheimer's, for the last ten years which has progressed slowly. They are both deeply Blessed.

With the last letter I sent, this was the first time in the last couple years where there was nothing in response, at all. That is OK. Yet what would be humanly loving and appropriate is to know if you are still receiving what I send and are reading what I send. Both of you. Please let me know at least if you receive my letters still and feel my loving heart intentions to serve our Beloved Bhagavan by extending my services of dialog with you both in a direct way.

I understand that what I may be saying might be in part difficult to hear. Yet I trust and pray you know my deep Love and respect for you both even as there may be seemingly sticky matters to address. There is virtually nothing I can hear that surprises me anymore or is too difficult.....miracles happen

even in apparent hell not protected in an apparent sacred domain!

Given I am not expressing my own observations but those of many others across a very large cross section of devotees which includes formal devotees at every level of participantion and non formal devotees either "on hold" for various reasons or choosing to handle business outside the context of formal involvement and responsive public it feels important you are aware of what is expressed here and what I have been suggesting for a while now.

I am not entirely sure who makes the decision about what you both do or do not receive. If what I am saying saying to you is considered prohibitive by some I would suggest they are not in right relationship to you not respecting our relationships.

If the broad overview of what is being seen and felt by myself and others is important to you it would be good for you to know what the public and devotees feel that have a significant impact on Adi Da Love Ananda's Work, culturally and publicly. If you only receive

what comes through the bottleneck of a very small group who edit what comes through (as was done while Beloved Bhagavan was alive, in the guise of protection or non-disturbance) this would not be effective oversight nor protection.

As I have experessed many times and even in a repetitive fashion, I feel passionate about wanting to make sure you are aware of more of the realities of the total picture. It seems clear that the mode of communications to you as RSO office are being done similarly as to when Beloved Bhagavan was still in His Body. And as He endlessly reflected this was not being done lawfully or auspiciously nor effectivly. He was not protected not rightly connected. He was lied to and manipulated all the time. This was true of all of us at different times in relationship to Him. I fear it continues to be so.

There is no scapegoat here to singularly blame. It has been a collective dynamic in agreement with one another, conscious or unconscious, to be hidden in relationship to any apparent threat or upset or disturbance or authority and most especially with Beloved Bhagavan Himself, as if this was protecting the Rucihura Sanyasin Order. I have observed and I am told devotees are continuing doing this with you now. This is not good at all that you are kept from realities you must relate to and know of directly. Otherwise governance will not know the full picture, make mistakes, bad choices and be ineffective and not respected.

I have also been told that devotees have been instructed that there can be NO collective dialogs anymore and that certain matters cannot be spoken of at all. So so many are feeling that there is a tight hold on free voice and real dialog and consideration of process within Adidam, saying it is an ineffective structure that has a suppressive stranglehold effect on Beloved Bhagavan's Work and Agencies and devotee voices and His Leela. Many indicate old patterns continue at the core and as a whole that Beloved Bhagavan Himself Said were ineffective and abusive of Him and His Work.

The reason I bring these matters to you is that so so many feel extremely frustrated and defeated and are coping with what they feel to be a failed inauthentic culture and authoritative structure. Both real cultural dialog or process appear to be not effectively auspicious. There is no real and strong Instrumentality which came into being as Beloved Bhagavan has Instructed it should and could happen. No demonstration of that as an accountable process with a mature group of trusted devotees in numbers. A collective game is being played all around for various reasons to either maintain access, function, face or sense of self.....

Many say that after Beloved Bhagavan's Mahasamadhi, you unlawfully secured your position at the Brightness and one by one there was an elimination and ostracizing of cultural leadership if they disagreed with what the RSO office indicated. Especially exacerbated by yourself Sukhapur living virtually alone with Beloved Bhagavan In His Mahasamadhi Site at the Brightness. Even such sarcasms expressed as "you finally achieved what you egoically wanted: to be the only one with complete control over Him and His Work and with No real intimate accountability to other devotees that you are visible to and practice all aspects of the Way with." Ouch!

These views are obviously crippling. They cannot be squashed out or silenced by some sort of heavy handed control. These attempts have made it worse. Again I am NOT telling you these things to hurt you. Many many well respected devotees are saying these and similar things. This includes even some in close proximity to you and in so called good standing along with others who just feel so upset about the obvious unlawfulness of the dynamic that they cope in quiet and keep a bit of distance. Adidam is not unified at heart. This is not the demonstration. It is obvious to the public too. There needs to be a transformation and heart healing that is a spiritual matter. This necessary process has nothing to do with right governance or strict reinforcement of the secondarily responsive aspects of sadhana. This is fundamental Prior Unity demonstrated in recognition response to Adi Da Love Ananda's

Person, Presence and State. Establishment is occurring backwards.......

I often feel how an all inclusive Sacred Healing and Depth Awakening Puja with global simultaneous sittings and invocations are needed to bring Adidam Alive at depth in this way. Plus communication, inspirational presentations and demonstrated progressive process in Prior Unity. And this has to begin at the core undoing the error of how the "throne" and court was claimed and allowed to be so without auspicious process in numbers of maturity, wisdom and training in cultural accountability, by His Divine Word via intimate devotional accountability.

Because there so few apparently demonstrating a required maturity for access and function there is not enough distribution of responsibility and respect and trust. This causes a bottleneck at the top, core and throughout, which will and is seen and felt by many as failing in response, numbers and financially.

Are you aware of the almost catastrophic debt in numbers and finances that plagues all aspects of Adidam?

Are you aware of how disturbed many are at how money is being spent by some when so much is at jeopardy?

Are you aware that there is talk of selling off Sanctuaries?

My sole heart intentions are to help in your efforts to bring full respect to governance. This cannot be done if you say you cannot handle hearing truths. If there is a genuine logic to why you as the RSO office function as you do, this is not clear to all as to how certain choices of governance and use of funds can be justified.

The respect may appear to be so around you.... but I tell you with deep heart love and wisdom you are being fooled. Even by your own choice. This integrity is not happening now and has not ever happened for real. Even when Beloved Bhagavan was still in His Bodily Human Form.

You will remember when he would ask for "God's Eyes" in an attempt to have devotees be honest and straight with Him? I am not sure anyone is serving you this way in a direct manner.

From what I can feel and observe you are even more isolated and less informed and available to devotees than Beloved Bhagavan Himself was......really speaking here to you Sukhamai.

You both live in a glass bowl. Just as we always did over all the years. Your attempts of retreat and confidentiality are not as you assume or are told to be. When you ask or even scream for "protection", this only reinforces egoic politics and divisive games.

Writing letters of apology from a distance does not work. Especially with intimates that NO one has a right to disrespect. Renunciation is not dissociation.

Again I beg you to listen and wake up to what I am telling you here. This is a dynamic of egoic politics shutting down what He has Accomplished. Yes there are many many many ways that His Work is Obvious. But as a Sacred Culture.demonsyrating the tire process and progressive way, we all fall extremely short.

Myself included. I am serving to find the Way of Integrity of The Heart of Love Ananda. Adidam is amiss. The transformation has yet to occur that He called for after His Mahadamadhi.

Access is key of course, as the very means of true process. Yet where is true yogic transcendent spiritual foundation process alive and demonstrated and vulnerably lived as a collective? The actual practicalities are secondary to this as the necessary foundation. It will all inevitably keep failing if debates over the Notes and the Teaching and structure, levels of practice and form comes before Direct Process.

Everything I keep repeating and have been for two years now, I cannot stop saying until I can at least feel you are listening at heart and not so closed that you refuse the reflection of myself and countless others that are willing to participate and serve if only you let go and realize you need human devotee intimate cultural help and accountability and practice consideration. Not like the Teaching Years! Present time Root Reality Prices. Not holding so tight to function, self position and protection and fear. Be brave enough to demonstrate surrender to His Form as the Sangha of true Heart Intimacy, In Love Yoga and Prior Unity.

So called confidential personal communications endlessly cycle through the gathering, beyond and will not rest or be supressed unless they are addressed, given they are our Divine Heart Masters Words.

Here is a small snippet of numerous of the same kinds of Notes about many of us and others.

"So I do require a significant number of people to provide the role of cultural governance exercising My Authority in this gathering as a whole. So you should make sure that's passed on, because I do require that.

Sukha Mai and Nadikanta are not up to it. And I don't know what they can have to do with anything, really. They have worked Me over so profoundly, I don't trust them about anything whatsoever. They just bother Me ceaselessly.

I just don't know what to do otherwise, because the gathering never equips Me with the responsibilities that need to be existing around Me. You can't have the Ruchira Sannyasin Order office be run by these two women. They're not even sannyasins, for one thing...."

Nothing much is confidential....trust me. ....neither Notes past or present nor what happened or happens. So no amount of "rules or codes" will replace direct feeling address in recognition response of Beloved Bhagavan in one another, individually or collectively. This has nothing to do with structural roles or politics of institutional gathering and function.

These are very intense. I have heard and received such myself. If nothing else, help devotees understand how to relate to such communications. Why? Because they are out there and causing significant controversy. Not with a heavy dharmic hand or ignoring them. Or telling everyone talk about self is just case or silence devotees in regards to certain subjects or time periods.....but with an open wise vulnerable accessible heart. Who gets to pick and choose what is true or not in the myriad of Notes passed on over the years? How does clarity come about and how is it demonstrated. As an amusement I could say.... I am still RSO! Not so funny is it?

I bow down in gratitude for the freedom to be able to offer an open unfearing voice and heart to you in Divine Heart Yoga.

I Love you both deeply,

Julie

PS Please remember these letters are only sent directly to you through Julian as you asked.

​

26 February 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta,

Love to you both . I received a request from Brian to speak again after having spoken with you, Sukhapur. I would be very grateful to be able to converse with you direct or with a woman who knows both of us well and was

trained by Beloved Bhagavan to serve intimate cultural matters.

I have very much enjoyed and been grateful for Brian extending himself as he has. Yet he is not a cultural priest.

Also it would very helpful to receive what you say in writing.

I never hear direct from you Nadikanta. Do you receive my letters?

No matter how many reasons of formality seem to justify the in- between steps to be able to have loving, honest, direct real dialog, it still does not rest well at heart.

I Love you.

Julie

​

5 March 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadtikanta

In deep gratitude this being is prostrated in the profound gift of clarity, no problem, no need, no separation, non difference. Awake in the gift of recognition and response, bowed round and opened up in Conscious Love Bliss.

Heart broken beyond any reactivity yet in the direct awareness that my service and offerings to you both personally are possibly being misunderstood and not recieved in the same Heart from which they are written. I understand I am enacting a direct and forthright disposition in assuming devotional intimacy and am asking difficult questions. I do this because I Love you in the Bright Beloved as not other. This is all fluid..

It appears as though yourselves and those through whom you communicate with and pass your responses through may misunderstand my intentions. I do not feel a reciprocal human sensitivity, honesty, respect or gratitude. Through fearing perhaps I am part of what is being absurdly characterized as "dark forces" or "case" or "a problem old timer or outsider"..... trying to destroy Beloved Bhagavan's Work..... in addition to a false demeaning accusation of disrespecting or scapegoating you and leadership, there is often an undertone of scripted shallow dharmic defense in relationship to questions or suggestions being brought to yourself and leadership. This feels righteously cultic and dissociatively dismissive.

These calculated defenses and acts of protection and tightly controlled forms and forces tend to create disharmony and distrust. Your actual virtuous heart intentions are not creating the desired result. You are tending to put the cart before the Horse.

Actually not sure what to say about the non response

from yourself Nadikanta. Some tell me you have simply given up, so beaten down.... with the admission that "Sukhapur always wins." Ouch.

Just as many others have confessed to me, they themselves stay quiet so that their service and access is not revoked.... So a game is being played. Where is the honest open integrity of the process of radical self understanding in this? Which requires complete honesty and open vulnerability and accountability? Based in Prior Unity and trust?

Sukhapur your emisaries, bless their hearts and attempts, speak with me in loving attempts, yet relate to me as though I am an opponent. As though I am connected with some sort of dark attempt to do harm or as though I misunderstand. This is so absurd and absolutely far from any truth whatsoever. If you and they relate to myself this way, I am certain others feel this sting of such righteous and disrespectful assumptions.

This sense of insiders and outsiders politics is sickening to my heart. It is all around. I am of NO camp at all. I do however see an awful dynamic that is not being addressed or even allowed to be spoken of. It is exactly what Beloved Bhagavan Reveals in The Scapegoat Book and The Mummery

and The Happinine. Adidam as a collective, being anyone who has been graced with the rare gift of recognition, is not demonstrating the collective transcendence of ego politics and self effort and relatedness. History is being repeated......Not transcended.

My saying this is NOT to discount the extremely significant history and service both of you and hundreds of others have enacted for Beloved Bhagavan. Nor is this about trying to rid Adidam of your roles of profundity and positions of service.

As I have repeatedly suggested however is that there needs to be an address and open discussion and healing and greater demonstration through wise intimate accountability in numbers of maturity and history for full trust and respect to be enabled. You have (maybe even unknowingly) undermined the ability of so so many more than are presently participating, to respect the manner in which authority is being wielded and how it came into being. Also as I communicated the picture you are being given by those who seemingly (and truly too) appreciate and respect the present leadership, some lack full honest disclosure and integrity in how they respond to yourselves and leadership out of fear of reprisal. I am not exaggerating here. Other participants are naively happy to go along, as clearly Access is Sacred and does serve as Agency. And clearly much is offered!

I trust your deep heart intentions and know you would want the success of Sacred Structures and Governance and leadership to be true and effective for the greatest numbers possible, not for yourselves but for Divine Reality Process and Truth. So I cannot withhold these questions and reflections and suggestions from you. Would you really not trust my depth of grace given process and honesty and Love such that you could honestly at heart presume my intentions would be otherwise?

The numbers of those who do offer gratitude and express positively about the presently configured Adidam Structures could be multiplied exponentially if the labelling, picking and choosing and debate based in ego politics, fear, defense and righteous armouring is let go...allowing open dialog and healing and thus collective deepening. This includes everyone, no matter of appearance.

I have no problem myself anymore in participating in such an obviously needed process. Absolutely nothing is lacking in my life and relationship to Bhagavan Adi Da. I have nothing to loose. I am not attacking anyone. Simply reflecting that clarification, different action around certain rumors/gossip /truths/errors (?), present configurations and history require an auspicious healing within the collective heart of all who have been blessed with the rare and unique gift of recognition response of the Divine Beloved Bhagavan Love Ananda.

Sacred Governance and Structures and Codes cannot override or replace this foundational necessity of intimately devotional, human, yogic, esoteric necessity. It is about the direct recognition response at the Heart Core of all, in the Reality Context of all, in Prior Unity. This would be one of the humanly manifest signs of true hearing as leadership, to enable this. Then the Sacred forms auspiciously manifest responsively with authentic integrity. If you expect structures and governance to make this happen, that is ego pattern effort, not by effortless Reality Grace Manifest. No matter how you pull corroboration from the Notes to validate this effort.....you could (as many do) surely find Notes that contradict! And yet it seems as though it is all "His Word"!

This clarifying healing demonstrative transformation has to be done in very tangible intimate incarnate human spiritual ways. As Heart Given, Guided by Beloved Bhagavan's Source Texts, brought down, opened up and out, in receptive spiritually transcendental means of Grace as One in Prior Unity. Collective Sacred Sittings Devotionally Invoking

this Radical Reality, As Perfect Knowledge, As Context for anything else enacted. Obviously this occurs effortlessly and thus right alignment manifest only by these means. Not the other way around.

As you both know there are many many more hearts that have been awakened in the recognition response than those who are being presently formally acknowledged as the apparent "real devotees". All of these "other" beings are also the rare ones within this apparent hell who are already available at heart by virtue of our Beloved Bhagavan's Accomplishing Power of Divine Self Emergence and Outshining Brightness.

I am simply suggesting a more radical embrace of all is required that undoes the historically repetitive egoic patterns, oedipal, social and political mummy drama to resourse the already opened hearts of recognition. Presently many are being marginalized and discriminated against.

Simply because there are differences in "point of view" that may seem threatening to the present status quo, is no reason to hold such devotees at bay by calling them or relating to them as problems of dark case. This disposition is not a demonstration of radical recognition, not open hearted in Love Devotional Yoga.

I know this is being enacted given this is how I am being related to!

Truly? Can you please at least yourself explain to me directly how you justify this? None of those through whom you communicate have come even close to saying anything to me that is deeply clarifying. These dialogs have actually only confirms my observations about the inauspicious and unhealthy dynamics that undermine the integrity of Adidam as an effective Collective Culture. The emphasis is on dynamic. No scapegoats.

I suggest you consider more deeply why you are choosing to relate to me this way. Perhaps even talking school 6th Stage error? Sense of betrayal at root? You refuse to allow yourself to be truly intimately served. Why?

I never received your response from my last letter.

In Love Yoga of Divine Recognition Response.

Julie

PS these letters are still entirely confidential

24 March 2019

Dear Sukhapur and Nadikanta,

Thank you deeply Nadikanta for your responding. And also Sukhapur for all your responses. I so wish I could see the written versions of your responses to correspond with the letters I have offered! Can you ask those whom you communicate with to do this for me?

I offer this response in Heart Gratitude of consistently received uninterrupted Blessing Grace. Please receive what I offer in this Light of Radical Understanding of no separation or fear, transcending the feeling of relatedness and difference. These offerings are not about the needs of the seeming separate "I", but the going beyond as manifested collectively effortlessly and thus responsibly in the Gift of Divine Self Recognition Awake As One.

I truly would love nothing more than to reflect back to you that your responses and the dialogs I have had with numerous others have been entirely clarifying around the ways in which Adidam is presently manifesting. I can surmise.. but this is not unifyingly useful. I would jump for joy to discover a unified collective spoken clarifying insight, depth and a transformative force of Instrumentality felt. It is sadly not that way yet, such that no further address, in regards to Context, history and disposition, is needed. My persistence in this service is being Given to me to do just as you feel yours is Given. How can these sacred motions auspiciously, effectively coincide, I ask? It seems you both are not taking what I say seriously enough to allow this possibility. I am not a threat or force that can do harm. I am being Divinely Moved just as you are. Why are you not trusting this? If you are...that is not what is being communicated to me.

Yes! Divine Conscious Light and It's Unique Accomplishling Power of Agency is irrevocably true in many many aspects of Adidam by virtue of our Divine Heart Master's ENTIRE Life's Work and Revelation, which continues. And these Divinely Given Gifts are being served truly effortlessly, mindlessly, in spite of our seeming individual persons (grosser and deeper aspects) by countless beings in so many different ways and places.This is His Paradoxical Reality Form. His Work Alone. His Person of Grace. This is entirely and consistently obvious to me in Conscious Light of Being.

Yet this Reality Truth, as you know, does not negate the necessity for certain seeming difficult realities of duality and contradictions to be addressed and that we must hold all devotees actions accountable for, no matter who they are, to truly transform what has and does manifestly exist as Adidam.

Stepping into the formalities of Adidam as it is appearing as a present time "Institutional Sacred Culture"....is not very attractive to me or to many others given such necessary open, honest, forthright devotional conversation is not being conducted by leadership and freely amongst devotees . As far as I can tell.....

I am not saying your services of establishing Codes of Governance and Structures is not a necessary aspect of this. Nor that enacting priestly and ceremonial worship is not essential. Nor that handling various aspects of mission, education and business in order to serve the Treasures and Culture is not necessary. On the contrary!

Yet it is disheartening, and yes frustrating, that questions cannot be asked and simply answered in a straight forward and uncomplicated and honest fashion. No matter who they are asked of or who is asking them.

When I speak with any individual devotee (formally involved or not regardless of congregation or function) or with a few and hear their Leelas or sit in silent Darshan, I do recognize their heart response and feel Blessed by His Divine Presence in Heart Recognition of Only Da. Each one is thus a precious Gift. No matter what the content in time and space of coinciding. Especially when the Context is In Love Yoga and cooperatively and in tolerance, vulnerably heartfelt human devotional intimacy.

However not any one of us should individually superimpose our own unique process of understanding and ordeal onto others. Especially when serving a leadership role. This is the True Yoga of Radical Reality Intimatcy Demonstrated by our Beloved Bhagavan throughout His entire Life, including the latter years of His Outshining Brightness.

Even as this can Gift be felt at times and in Reality is the Only Truth, the Culture is not fully manifesting by coming down and being effortlessly rested into Prior Unity as a Whole yet. If this is consciously collectively invoked and enacted, ego politics are transcended. Ego politics are still rampant. NO secondary codes or structures are effectively addressing this gross and subtle and causal reality at the root foundation of Adidam as a collective Heart Yoga.

To hear it said "simply become a member of a congregation, get with the program and participate", (which assumes separation and absence on the part of so many) after all the ordeal of Intimacy, Process and Insight and Awakening that has been Given, feels too much like being asked to put on a required costume and agreeing to be part of the collective ego errors of abusive non-recognition that was active when Beloved Bhagavan was still physically alive. A collective purifying transformation in Feeling Awareness and Yoga that truly Understood His Criticisms of "wrong relationship and imprisonment" has not yet

fulfilled itself as a Sangha, as His True Form. This can and has to happen. It will require a change in action on the part of every single one of us. No scapegoats. No victims. No errors at root.

In Truth, I absolutely trust this will happen. Yet it appears in fetal form, with obstructions that are not being collectively wisely and fully related to. This healthy birthing is yet to be obviously and attractively so to and for all. This is a collective fault in ALL those of us who have been Touched in the Gift of Recognition. That number is actually very large and not dwindling, as I hear it appears to be so with those "on the books" so to speak.

I know I appear to be repeating this over and over again. It cannot stop until this is collectively understood. I am not pointing fingers in any single direction. My hands are opened wide in Love Bliss. I am not deluded.

I was very happy Nadikanta to hear you are able to do what Beloved Bhagavan Asked you to do. Is this your writing in particular? Cannot remember for sure and would not know some of the later personal Instructions He Gave you. Do you both make decisions together around the sacred governance of Adidam?

Thank you again for your invaluable lives of devotion to Beloved Bhagavan Da Love Ananda. Devotees would be so grateful and Blessed to hear from you each and together personally speaking about your process. Devotees would be served to see the two of you living and practicing together, communicating as One and serving the Brightness and the Island and other Sanctuaries together, opening your arms to others who are equally as qualified. This will require going beyond fear within present time realities and rigidified form and seemingly inflexible secondary requirements. This Bright Fluidity or Integrity of the Core Heart Yoga in the Real is necessary and for sacred survival.

Please know that personally I am not giving a lot of attention to or believing or spreading what I hear, feel or see. I am not two faced or multi-faced. That is why I am asking for clarification openly. Honestly it is not easy to know what is or is not gossip or what is fact. Especially if what is being felt and heard has a very real negative impact on devotees and Adidam. Not only for myself but for the mission, cultural clarity and integrity and wholeness.

Some of what I am aware of need not be answered... as Beloved Bhagavan's Word in His Source Texts is what I resort to. But then there are Talks He Gave to the Gathering and the Notes and "private conversations" even, especially relevant within the latter years and even days before His Mahasamdhi. It is within these contexts that "His Word" about various very important matters are becoming a potential source of revision, debate and interpretation. More than a few nominated ones are required for such a significant Samyama. Especially those with history and depth, youth and freshness included.

It seems there is not an effective means and avenue of clarification around core matters that cannot be brushed aside. This creates divisiveness and lack of trust, respect and unity.

What is very clear to me now is that neither yourself nor Sukhapur feel such clarification is within the roles of your responsibility or function. Nor do you feel it is needed, it seems. Nor do you have the time to address such matters. I do not know what dialogs you have with those who serve culturally in response to what I say to you.....

However, I have been told you are aware of what is lacking or not right with devotees and within Adidam...but again this is not clear what is meant by this exactly. Who then is responsible for such clarification?

I suggested to Dina and Brian and others that I will collate all these matters of questions and issues so that devotees who are aware (or those who need educating) of these details can have their concerns and questions addressed properly to the point of clarity, resolution and healing. This will require a consent of all participants, no matter who they are. If there is a refusal to participate in such transformative healing.... that action speaks for itself. And this will be known and seen as what it is.... "avoiding relationship"! I have suggested that a full honest transparent non suppressive and unnhibited disclosure by all devotees would

be useful. Too many "ghosts" in the closet of Adidam. Any kind of organized group of individuals needs this kind of "cleansing" and mechanism for it,  regularly!

Nadikanta when you suggest I should not listen to "gossip".....how would I know if what I hear is gossip or not? Relating to any individual who is saying something to me that they feel very clear and passionate about and needs clarifying or healing, I would not say to them: "drop it, it is not important enough to be addressed, you are just dramatizing case". Telling me that what I am trying to communicate to you is simply about "gossip", is a negation of possibly important truths and actions and is an oversimplified dismissive manner of response. Like "sweep it under the rug... or prayers alone will heal all"!  I am not able to do that. This is not a fault or personal problem. I want humanly mature honesty and transparency and accountability within a culture I could feel proud to be part of. This is not an overly idealistic necessity either. Reality Truth is humanly transformative and would show different collective signs rather than what an ego based culture does. You know all this!

Please also know and deeply feel that there is nothing obstructing "my" direct relationship to Beloved Bhagavan and His Process. No matter what arises, where I am or who I am with. There is no person or structure or form that carries such power. His Agencies are even secondary, as He has Instructed, to His Direct Person, Presence and State. I personally do not have a problem that needs solving for this apparent persona. Divine Heart Intimacy is Direct and always has been. No one and nothing is inbetween.

This Divine Reality Revelation is permanently secured.

I am told you are doing the Prayer of Changes for me.

On the one hand I am happy to hear this. Yet given your apparent unwillingness to receive my offerings as an auspicious service to you both, I cannot help but feel you may be assuming a problem in relationship to myself and what I am lovingly and strongly and clearly bringing to your attention, repeatedly. Hopefully I am wrong.

What is your Prayer of Change for me then?

This would probably be more clarifying than anything else communicated thus far. For how you are relating to me actually says more than the words you are sending to me through those who serve you both.

Dina suggested to me that I am attacking you both and others. Is this what you feel after the last two years of my attempts to reconnect with you directly, out of Love and respect? If so. I am sorry. Not for what I have said or how I have said it.... but that you would feel this. If you are feeling that I am being disrespectful and attacking you, your view of my communication is not being received as I am feelingly at heart offering it. I am not an opponent.

I am not messed up or confused.

Bottom line is that no matter how this dialog does or does not go, it feels very inauspicious that we are unable to speak directly after the lives we have shared with Beloved Bhagavan Da Love Ananda and His Divine Avataric Manifestation. Many many others feel this way too. It is not the "right", happy, loving, devotional sign.

I will be pulling together, with others, questions that have yet to be clarified. Again these questions come from a very broad range of (including participating) devotees. If I am unable to receive clarification by reaching out to yourselves and leadership as I have been, I will have to consider another route with many others. Out of respect I am bring this to you and your chosen small group of leadership first. Adidam and Adi Da Love Ananda's Work requires this collective healing clarification and humanly devotional transformation.

Bowed down in the Love of Love Itself

Julie

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