Praise to Siddha Guru Da, Divine Body of Conscious Light!
As I am writing this freely beyond the ego knot of fear, in devotional fidelity to Siddha Guru Da, non separate other, all inclusive Reality Being, I am heart reminded again that He admonished we all exercise sacred practices that serve going beyond the ego knot of fear, self or other imposed limitations, as a means to “free the true voice” of a devotee. Reminding us that a “open hearted free voice” is required to communicate the True Process, beyond ego self references. As our Siddha Guru's Responsive "Tcha" was spontaneously invoked through true devotional turning, this activated in His Divine Being one of His spontaneous Signs of acknowledging right relationship, gratitude, pleasure and joy. He Needed to receive this egoless responsive "true devotee voice" offered as an esoteric devotional gift to Him. This reciprocation of Heart gifts of recognition and response indicated to Him that we were truly receiving Him, awakened in true devotional turning in egoless self understanding and engaging in right relationship that gave Him the "set apart means" to Responsively Work directly in that moment with the devotee or a collective of devotees. This is the bhakti and bhava of Guru devotion. When not freely responsively entered into this bhakti and bhava in speech, directly in His Divine Company or when writing to Adi Da about practice and Process , this lapse in ego self transcending devotion would be referred to as "case" dramatization, a commonly used term amongst formal devotees. Simply understood "case" is ego act, uninspected ego self dramatizations or reactivity, self and other watching, demands for unhealthy ego self attention and satisfaction etc. "Case" talk or writing differs from communications of true ecstasy and devotional self observation and understanding. These offerings are grace given confessions about the ego act in the Reality Process of true insight and devotionally expressed self transcending understanding, resulting in a transformative change of action, growth, and greater free energy and attention.
The heart is by Divine Blessing Grace and Presence opened as a vessel for direct esoteric service to and use by Adi Da. A truly !ALIVE! direct relationship gift Siddha Guru Da can make use of for His Divinely Self Emerging Reality Process. True Da Siddha Guru Yoga Ecstasy that is all inclusive!
Examples of ego self referencing "case" in writing or speaking would be: inability to speak honestly and freely without self consciousness, self or other imposed taboos, that of copying others, being mum, empty handed prayers or praise, rote placating gestures, shifty lies, insider club talk, saying what you presume needs to be said to “pass”, be “right” or “win”, speaking only about how we “experientially” feel Adi Da, copying His Words or quoting Him in a talking school fashion. You may remember participating in an interactive Gathering with Siddha Da either by physically being in His Company or by technical means and He would reflect such "case" talk by Saying, "You are giving Me nothing to Work with here!".
In true ego transcending devotion as the feelingly intuitive heart open asana of direct recognition responsive relationship to Siddha Da writing and speaking occurs in Reality Itself which inherently "opens the true heart voice". Moved by Siddha Da's Divine Intervention I have been gracefully and gratefully engaging, learning and growing in this devotional exercise of speaking and writing freely for the past 5 years or so. Thank you, Siddha Da for Ed Reither of Beezone, thank you Ed, for reaching out and humanly sparking this process, in auspiciously perfect coincident timing and offering me a platform to do so. This was a clear intervention born of Da Siddhis in the Bright! Now here I am continuing on another experimental platform too!
This process has not been engaged independently, but with consistent helpful and necessary feedback. Clearly my responses to feedback from many others have not always been “pleasing” to all, in relationship to what has been reflected to me. “If the shoe fits wear it, or pass it on”, Adi Da would say. In this Open Reality Consideration Process, over all the years we were Blessed to do so in direct personal relationship to Adi Da, He Asked us frequently to write or speak to Him about the details of practice and the Process with Him in this fashion. There was no pre-determined indoctrination nor text book answers. Adi Da made very clear the Process was not a response about a separate “me” or “us”. He was specifically needing to feel and know how we received His Instruction, Blessing and Transmission and what we Understood.
It has become gracefully obvious that this Process in only about participating in Bright Divine Revelation and to grow in understanding what is required as true gifts for this Process to Emerge here, fully given over in Divine Service. If this Radical Root Yoga is embraced, “me and mine", "my” life, “my” process, "my" service, “my personal relationship to Him” takes on a whole new Understanding. In Bright Reality Consideration, it is not the only the mind that changes. Real participation will require consistent life changes, a whole bodily manifest response and a fearless wise letting go. This auspiciously occurs if you are serious about Divine Self Realization in Siddha Da’s Satsang in true faith and trust. This Process also depends on humanly mature true devotional intimacy and requires a fully authenticated, conformed to Him Sangha.
When we wrote or spoke to Adi Da, He demonstrated that the relationship was (and is) a spontaneously reciprocal Process that genuinely requires the vulnerably surrendered disposition of “Divine Ignorance” for Bright Revelatory Truth to become obvious in very precise detail, that could not be “known” in advance! In part, this is why I have been being ridiculously verbose in fearlessly breaking the boundaries of “knowing and owning and controlling forces”! A liberating Yoga of writing and speaking, of japa, tapas in ecstatic and humbling gratitude.
As you are observing, I am engaging this yoga of writing and speaking through documenting aspects of the present time Process of Reality Consideration in order to further sensitize myself and others to His Revelatory “Shout” and Blessings. I have done this in part by consistently reaching out to many individuals spanning the broader gathering of devotees including, family, friends, long time devotees, new devotees, formal devotees, advocates etc while not being enclosed in or choosing a side within any single “camp”. I am no innocent by any far stretch of the imagination. This challenge is embraced as a sacred art form and puja. I am fully aware that I am vulnerable to all kinds of reactions and responses, in an attempt to “expose” the whole paradoxical picture of whatever form this Process takes.
In this offering, the elements that “come into view” in the Context of this Reality Process are a humble way of "holding all to account", by reflecting, by being visible not hidden and by being documented, for what we as a collective ego act continue to superimpose on Reality Truth Itself. Believe me I am entirely aware this a bold endeavour. Yet I have become entirely despaired of the fearful lie, in myself and others of the unconscious and conscious cultic manners in which we all continue to tend at times to relate to one another ego reactively rather than recognition responsively and thus enclose and eclipse Bright Reality<>Siddha Da. This painful obstructing and revising of His Divine Self Emergence and Outshining Leela of Blessing and Transmission evokes heart acute whole bodily reminiscence of what He endured during all the years of Divine Self Submission. We demanded this of Siddha Da until the day of His Mahasamadhi, even though He repeatedly Asked that this no longer be required of Him. This Plight and Plea corresponded to His Seventh Stage Process and corresponding sensitivities and abilities. I am also awake to the fact that this imposition is still literally so, even though He is no longer embodied. Times are dark and there is an urgency to go beyond this egoic superimposition in Divine selfless service to all beings.
Fortunately there are many devotees and responsive, caring individuals world wide who are able to remain open hearted and continue to converse with me beyond fear and self protection to keep this dialog alive. Just barely though, because of collective egoic limitations and most remain somewhat fearfully overwhelmed, afraid of the consequences of speaking out and so keep silent and do not want to be outwardly known for what they really feel and intuitively understand at heart. It is being suggested by some that the timing of doing this is not right. Imagine saying this to Siddha Da directly!
It takes no “right” time to be visibly known to have signed on a dotted line acknowledging that a new collective agreement has to be activated: A Yes! I do understand that our collective response falls very short, we are not victims, we will not scapegoat and we will lovingly, openly, tolerantly and cooperatively demonstrate and incarnate what is required for an awakened response and peace reparation to Siddha Da and to all: “Adi Da’s Life and True Divine Leela Matters!”. OK, I know that one may sting! For various reasons, that may very well be necessary and legitimate, many put this single simple gesture off and choose to remain hidden within a seeming logical resolve or emotional complication that comes from double mindedness, lack of true mature equanimity that sadly dramatizes an esoteric insensitivity as to how this choice perpetuates the liabilities of a dissociative duality, humanly alone or within camps. OK, I know that may sound “righteous”! I mean no harm.
As I continue to push the envelope, in not so delicate ways at times, that can appear as if I am intentionally being insensitive or abusive and threatening, I take big risks here. If many more come to speak out; the limitations in my abilities and the patterned flaws I am well aware of will be tempered and subdued. So I ask again. Where is this list? The numbers of named hearts could easily be in the thousands!!! I will post it here if I become aware of such an ecstatic happening, as an offering to all who will participate in our inherently collective "true devotee voice" in Prior Unity! Vessels of Divine service to Bright Bhagavan Da!
Watch out! I may just decide to violate confidences and make that list myself!!! ( I am lovingly laughing here FYI) Honestly, I am hardly scratching the surface, yet. What I just said will be regarded by many as a “threat” rather than a priestly nudge. It has been how long of a time that confidences have not been broken? And you still do not trust me at heart? Adi Da made it very clear that remaining hidden is a dramatization of a lack of trust and of championing True Heart Love.
In the gift of awakened self-understanding heart logic is this: inherently combined with the true feeling heart of all collective humanity, when pushed to a heart breaking limit, the wounded heart cries out “This is not OK!” or yells out “I am mad as hell, I will not do or take this anymore!”
Yet as a collective of “devotees” we do not do the same for Siddha Guru Adi Da and one another. What could be the heart genuine, well considered and wise reason for not doing so? “Adi Da’s Life and True Divine Leela Matters”. As this “exposure” process unfolds, I will continue to reference Siddha Da’s Words where He Asks that very question as it pertains to all aspects of the right relationship to Him and His Bright Emergence and Outshining here.
It is a true heart prayer that this “public visibility” is providing a platform of accountability and can serve to also dispel the illusory cultic notion that “we” (wherever we are on the spectrum of response to Adi Da in this fishbowl of Adidam ) can hide as if we are not part of the “world of egos out there or in here”. Can we come into wise collective self- understanding that the apparently opposing dynamic of “world out there” and “formal devotees in here” is ludicrous? It is a grossly naive generalization to presume that either camp is just full of “fools” who do not “get it”. I am drawing the curtain open as a priestly service to undermine this unnecessary fear of being seen for real in Reality Truth. I am not naive in the awareness of the dark forces we are dealing with in this world. Quite the opposite is true.
The presumed dichotomy of opposing dynamics is one of the many “ego act check mates” of why the Mummery drama is seemingly locked in place. In no uncertain terms Adi Da Said “True Adidam Ruchiradam is NOT the Mummery World.” We are all inherently One here in Prior Unity, no “world apart” in True Adidam Ruchiradam and vice versa! Yes! Confounding as it may feel and sound. Becoming fully aware that if unqualified relationship is lived, coupled with authenticity being demonstrated; all the flaws and errors that we all dramatize will come into Reality Consideration and Revelation Process where we no longer inhibit integrity as an expanded collective all embracing culture in and as the “world” that will shine brighter as C+T=P, as elucidated by Adi Da in Not-Two Is Peace.
In continuing to “expose" this Reality Consideration and heart call, for humanly all inclusive devotional heart intimacy, for response to this heart need and by not consenting (as a puja and tapas) to be confined within the collective liabilities of our historically institutional, ceremonial, pastoral, dog with a bone, dissociative or cultic ego act restraints; clarification, rightening, reparation and the actualization of Prior Unity will be hopefully served. For all who are interested, perhaps this call to heart openness, vulnerability and honesty will come to fruition so you can observe/understand and thereby enter, as you are heart moved, into “unqualified relationship”.
Ah! A quote from Adi Da’s Orpheum Trilogy just emerged: “And thank you very much for listening, and the terrific cute creature (c’est moi….as well intended ego “I”) bit the Divine Lord to death……”…..Yikes!
In eternal gratitude for this Bright Divine Self Revelation and Reflection, this radical understanding of ego self-other awakens, born into being awake in the paradoxical nature of Da Bright Reality Consideration. Only then can the consequences of ego-”I”-act and patterned “I”-other dynamic (perpetually and repeatedly exploding with “errors’) open this heart to receive and respond to Conscious Light intervention. YES! This Understanding is only awakened in Reality Satsang and Sangha! Da Love Ananda Hridayam: Non dual Perpetual Bright Reality Consideration! Graced with no escape from this relational (prior to the feeling of relatedness) tapas in the Conscious Paradox at the Root of attention! Awakening ultimately in Atma Nadi Shakti Yoga as Only One all inclusive Divinely Self Conscious Light Embrace! Recognition response in direct human intimacy with all beings and things! This is the literal actualization of True Divine reciprocation of “gifting” that “sets right sacred” relationship in Reality Truth Nature of Siddha Guru Da Love Ananda.
Remember, at heart with every breath, this paradoxical esoteric Truth of Siddha Da
I am speaking to everyone when I speak into the tape recorder. There is “nobody there”, except “somebody” with a tape recorder. Why is that? I am not just speaking to whoever is in the room with the tape recorder. I am speaking to everybody, literally. I meditate everybody. I am everybody. And I am speaking to everybody, and not to everybody as egos at all. I am simply Revealing Myself in “everyone’s face”. Adi Da 2008