In 1996 Da Love Ananda attempted to establish the order of the Quandra Mai, as the renunciate order most intimate to him/Him.
The given name for me during this specific time-period of continuing Revelation/Lesson Consideration was "Quandra Mai Chinnamasta". See below a description of Chinnamasta.
During this period Da Beloved sensitized me, evermore deeply, to how True Love cannot be addictively received or aggressively proven by the ego act and pattern. No matter how strongly felt, wanted or needed to be so, or reciprocally desired.
The One True Love + ego act,
Even as a presumed to be devotee,
Full of exotic passionate motions, expressions or experiences,
Enacted as a persistent love drama,
Does not=True and Real In-Love devotee Guru Heart Intimacy Process of Awakening.
The first four stages of life errors and Lessons need to be learned, which can only be so shown IN Divine Self recognition of/In Bright Adi Da, Divine State of Being.
Thus tested and proven in direct relationship to the unique arising vasanas (gross, subtle and causal all simulanteously happening) relative to each and every devotee. To be observed and understood, disciplined and gone beyond in, "necessarily formal", humanly and transcendentally spiritually demonstrated prior unity/Prior Unity Reality Satsang, "no matter what arises or does not arise".
The names Adi Da gave us during the time periods of a specific Revelation/Lesson Consideration (True Leela, not romanticized as in "Bollywood" style) served to enable the "greater implications" of patterns patterning that were/are always being "Worked" with, for the "sake of all and all".
Adi Da:
"You are crippled because you live as the ego, self-contracted, with the heart contracted, therefore, seeming to be. This contraction is shown in a fundamentally loveless life. Even though you say you have feelings, you experience them through the mechanism of egoity, the games of attachment, the games of suppression, the games of avoidance. Therefore Love, or the Heart, does not become the context of your Life."
From The Incarnation of Love
"Chinnamasta is a goddess of contradictions: she "is both the food and the eater of food, thereby symbolizing the whole world by this act of being devoured and the devourer. The dichotomy of receiver and giver or object and subject collapses into one." Most of her epithets listed in her nama-stotra (name-hymn, which enlists the names of a deity) convey marvel and fury; few names are erotic or peaceful, which are contrary to Chhinnamasta's fierce nature and appearance. Her sahasranama (thousand name-hymn) echoes paradoxes; she is Prachanda Chandika ("the powerfully fierce one") as well as Sarvananda-pradayini ("the prime giver of all ananda or bliss"). Her names convey the idea that though she is fierce at first appearance, she can be gentle upon worship.
While other fierce Hindu goddesses like Kali depict severing the heads of demons and are associated with ritual self-decapitation, Chhinnamasta's motif reverses the ritual head-offering, offering her own head to the devotees (attendants) in order to feed them. Thus, she symbolises the aspect of Devi as a giver, like Annapurna, the goddess of food, and Shakambhari, the goddess of vegetables, or a maternal aspect. The element of self-sacrifice is the symbol of "divine reciprocation" by the deity to her devotees. As a self-sacrificing mother, she symbolises the ideal woman; however, her sexuality and power are at odds with the archetype. She subdues and takes the life-force of the copulating divine couple, signifying the aspect of the life-taker, like Kali.
Chhinnamasta's serpentine ornaments indicate asceticism while her youthful nude ornamented body has erotic overtones. Like all Hindu goddesses, she is decked in gold finery, symbol of wealth and fertility."
PS: I am not saying I am this goddess or should/need to be worshipped etc! Adi Da was always only addressing universal archetypes, myths and patterns patterning through all his devotees.
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