Many different devotees intimately near Adi Da served the function of "communicator". Sitting with Adi Da, often alone, or with a few others, recording His Words in some fashion was full of His Blessing Siddhis. Any way of serving and relating to Him was always only meant to be the gift of Satsang. That itself is wherein the entire Process occurs. The purpose of this specific role was passing His Words of Blessing and Instruction along to individuals about their relationship to Him of Process and practice details, or to individuals and groups that served specific functions or to the gathering as a whole or to interested public, advocates and patrons.
Many coveted this role, for different reasons. Others wanted nothing to do with it because of the possible pitfalls and great responsibility it carried. The reasons for desire or aversion are not dissimilar around the self serving pros and cons of access to any person of status, influence and power or within any organizational structure or hierarchy. But this is no ordinary context in Adi Da's Company. It may appear simple to receive His Words and pass them along. It was anything but that. It required sacred yogic integrity of practice, transparency, intimate cultural accountability. This true and rightly enacted cultural and intimate accountability was never His responsibility; which He made ceaselessly abundantly clear. This has be disputed by some and still is. Yet this dispute continues to portray a misinterpretation of “the play or theatre” around Him, as it has been called. The function of communicator is a sacred art of “linking” and a selfless priestly service if engaged in right relationship to Him and all others. It required a skill of humanly mature relational skills, physical endurance, patience, perseverance, emotional intelligence and strength, clarity, sensitivity, efficiency, loss of face, humility, compassion and great attention to detail. This cycle of communications carried great Blessings and exquisite Instructions no matter what He was addressing and how.
Inevitably the characteristics of all the devotees who have ever served the role taking the "Notes", the context and manner in which they were passed along, received and responded to, were either carried out in an auspicious sacred fashion or created an immense amount of unfortunate drama around Adi Da. Often, the whole process resulted in a very frustrating disturbance in our relationship to and for Him. And it still does in present time. Why? There is an obvious contradiction and dichotomy between the content of what is being communicated as Adi Da's Instructions that all devotees are to be adhering to, in the asana of ego self/act surrendering devotion direct to Adi Da as Siddha Guru and the demonstration of those who govern or lead this process. This is especially so in regards to those at the very top of the hierarchy, who are allowed to be cloistered "untouchables" and not accountable to the culture for their continued personal dramatization of ego act and pattern. Because of this knowledge, many individuals lack trust and respect in this dynamic. This is an ongoing issue in the gathering and always has been to varying degrees. These continued dramas are a left over from the past of wrong relationship to Adi Da, where mummers roles still rule the roost and collective response.
In keeping it simple here for now, there were two major primary liabilities that have stood out in this context. One is the uninspected (or even at times conscious) egoic misuse of the function by the individuals recording the "Notes" and passing them along. The other is the lack of auspicious response from those receiving the "Notes" and their response to Adi Da. There are many other nuanced aspects to this cycle that I will speak to going forward.
Because proximity to Adi Da was coveted by many, the drama around this role was one in which many errors in direct relationship to Him could be played out. He ALWAYS addressed these errors, even in the last days of His life. The principle one being that the individual taking the "Notes" could make the mistake, not always though, that they were somehow not personally implicated in communications that contained a critical assessment of our relationship to Him. The “I got the goods (the inside scoop) and understand and you do not”. This denotes a characteristic of an "insider", a cultic manner of misuse of this function in relationship to Him and those being communicated to. It can then tend to be an immature, confused, deluded, arrogant, manipulative abuse of ownership, knowledge and power by virtue of proximity to the source, at the core or top of the hierarchical structure. As if proximity to the source, top or center of need and attention was tantamount. This is still happening even today. I have made such errors too, as have many, with great regret now, as we see the dark havoc it reeks. If the errors come to light and are understood, then growth beyond these ego patterns serve the freeing of energy and attention for the primary Process in Satsang. If not, Mummery drama prevails and derails all participants. The Mummery drama is what is occurring at present, based in a collective inability to understand and accept that the roles we played and how we enacted them were not "true and rightly aligned". He made this very clear to all, no exceptions. This is not about damnation or an inconvertible failure. Quite the opposite if understood in the Reality Truth that is Adi Da Satsang and Sangha.
The second pitfall of the cycle of communications is the lack of auspicious response from the recipients of His communications. This was not always the case, clearly, especially when you look at all that Adi Da and His devotees accomplished in His lifetime that literally could not have incarnated without the generous response of thousands of individuals over time. This is so now even after His Mahasamadhi, yet sadly, seeming to dwindle. The lack of response and participation was one of the most excruciatingly grueling aspects of our relationship to Him. How could so much be given and so much accomplished and yet His signs of displeasure be so loud? In this dynamic, the messenger would often have to bring the non-response to Him, receive and carry the brunt of His "displeasure". He would often say “do not kill the messenger”. However, for those not being so close in physical proximity, this could create a false sense of distance from Him as though one could skirt the vowed obligation of a direct response. These characteristic consequences of the dynamic function were also glaringly clear up until the day of His Mahasamadhi and repeatedly most every day for years on end. Again, this aspect of the scapegoating saga continues to be dramatized today. It is now assumed by some insiders that those at the top of the hierarchy have integrity of alignment and demonstrated subordination to His Divine Person and Word. In fact, there is a delusional fantasy drama continued to be allowed to play out in secret, just as it was abusively done so on Adi Da's Person while He was embodied. These errors have yet to be understood by those continuing to enact this perpetually insidious egoic mummery act in His Sacred Domains. He has described these errors endlessly, personally to each involved and collectively. These facts are strategically being hidden from the broader gathering, the uneducated.
These are egoic power struggles and ego self imagery that are entirely ordinary (even delusional and extraordinary) and of a self-possessed exoteric social nature that are obnoxiously being played out and justified in the guise of “sacred esoteric structures, roles, rules and order”. Sound familiar (repetitive of human nature throughout time)? This awful dynamic characterizes this gathering of devotees globally, however positive it may seem in any responsive individual related to Adi Da’s Divine Self Revelation.
Among so many others, I have observed the dynamics of this communications function and process in relationship to Adi Da from the very beginning of my relationship to Him in 1976. There is a profoundly liberating insight when the whys of this soured dynamic are understood, where new collective agreements are made, and actions changed. This understanding can only occur in Satsang where true ego transcending sadhana is awakened and practiced, accountably demonstrated in relationship. Visibly and yogically, whole bodily heart viscerally incarnate wherein unqualified relationship is the true cave of human, religious and spiritually transcendental tapas and transformation.
Now, those with the power and control, as the gathering gives consent to this abuse of authority, are communicating and enacting revisions of Adi Da's Divine Self Heart Way.
Below is a typical paraphrased communication of Adi Da's that we all heard so many times, we have almost memorized His Incisive Words! These were said softly at first and then as years passed the magnitude of His Prophetic Shout became passionately and compassionately louder, up until the very day of His Mahasamadhi. And as He then repeatedly made clear, these criticisms were to all, no one excluded, not one, proximity of no relevance. The dynamic of the “communications” errors pointed to above were in full bloom, especially in Nov 2008. These esoteric truths are literally being hidden and even destroyed. The entire gathering is agreeing to allow this, given no mobilized collective actions are afoot. Because of the presently continued enactment of egoic errors that are described in His Orpheum Trilogy, the players (all of “us”) are still identifying with and thus seemingly trapped in the perpetual motion of dramatizing the errors of the first 6 stages of life, however well intended or profound. This is the collective choice, rather than being the collectively awakened demonstration of His sign of Adi Da Sangha in perpetual Satsang manifesting the necessary full recognition responsive gifts He called for that are necessary to authenticate His Divine Reality Revelation in perpetuity. Instead the communicators and the recipients and participants (both insiders and outsiders or onlookers) are allowing egoic power struggles to define our dynamic in relationship to Him, the True Self of all, Divine Reality Truth. All the while, merely present, coinciding As Is, Love Blissful Conscious Light. Parama Siddha Adi Da Love-Ananda. His Person, Presence and State.
Adi Da, your Heart Guru speaks His experience as humanly and Divinely Incarnate until His Mahasamadhi:
“No one really knows anything about how Spiritual Masters function. Really, you do not! You are ignorant people doing a colossally ignorant thing on Me that is utterly destructive.
I have done everything possible to bring My Revelation into the world by functioning in this westernized world. And I have been utterly devastated by this effort.
I have been on the brink of physical death over and over again in this cult. Nobody gets the point that they are actually doing this on Me here. You just keep repeating it.
Now you repeat it every couple of weeks in a hugely dramatic sense. It is getting closer and closer to being perpetual, and I am not going to live much longer. I cannot get you to stop it. It is the “man in the middle game” played to the point of a terminal stage.
There is no way I can break through into this world. I cannot get out of My Room. People just deal with Me in the most obnoxious manner and are making nothing of Me to the point of destroying Me. You are exhausting Me here by your wrong relationship to Me.
It's The Mummery Book of The First Room Trilogy. You are doing it on Me. It is terminal. I cannot survive here.
I am not being recognized. I am not accepted. There are no people helping Me into the world, helping the world to relate to Me.”
Fully receive this gift at heart, whole bodily and feelingly intuit His experience expressed above, that He Shouted at the end of His physical life here. What has occurred in His gathering since His Mahasamadhi has yet to meet this mark of His uniquely awakened gift of radical Reality Understanding. Why? Do not ask the acting authorities to answer this for you.
Remember, at heart with every breath, this paradoxical esoteric Truth of Siddha Da
I am speaking to everyone when I speak into the tape recorder. There is “nobody there”, except “somebody” with a tape recorder. Why is that? I am not just speaking to whoever is in the room with the tape recorder. I am speaking to everybody, literally. I meditate everybody. I am everybody. And I am speaking to everybody, and not to everybody as egos at all. I am simply Revealing Myself in “everyone’s face”. Adi Da 2008