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N0 ego-hiding or ego-protection in Reality Truth

"True devotees of Mine constantly “glow” (whole bodily) with the “Bright” activation of their Self-Radiant devotion to Me. True devotees of Mine are Perfectly and completely “glued”—

or always whole bodily, and (in due course) Transcendentally Spiritually, connected—to Me."

Adi Da from Aletheon

1961, five years old, living in Van Nuys, California, a precocious, curious, stout, round, short haired, light blond girl strolled out into her sparse family lounge room. Quietly content! For her, she had accomplished a very brave, bold, independent and rebellious act. Clearly, she was not yet matured or sophisticated in her feeling, thinking or self awareness to understand what and exactly why she was doing what she was. Only much later to realize the potentially self and other damaging consequences of many unconscious motives in this indiscriminate act, full of wilful while secretive, unskilled, indulgent, sneaky self satisfying intent and success. Many more acts upon the same unconscious scheme ensued throughout her life.

I never liked “bangs”, called “fringe” in some cultures. Too itchy, hot, in my eyes, over my ears kind of bother. But “no no no, need to have the pageboy cut”, says mother. The style of the day in the early 60’s for young children. I secretly wanted long curly hair, more girly and pretty, like young Shirley Temple. Oh No! “you cry too much as I brush the tangles out”.

No room for negotiation when that young. OK, so, I ventured to solve this dilemma myself. I could not have it my way, so, therefor, you cannot have it your way, felt fair enough to me! How about a self negotiated meet you half way?

Prior to sauntering into the lounge room, I sat on my bedroom floor, engaged in cutting out clothes for my paper dolls. Paper doll scissors in hand. I shared this room with my brother, a year 1/2 older, and sister a year 1/2 younger. Shared rooms all my life so far. My sister also wore a pageboy hair cut. Mother even made matching dresses for us! Especially fancy for holidays.

I was alone in our shared bedroom this moment, all on my own, creatively, happily so. In our small duplex on Cedros Avenue, puzzled about this issue with my hair, a sudden solution presented itself. Yes! The paper doll scissors. They were not dangerous. I knew this because I was not permitted to touch my mothers sewing scissors, both kinds, one with teeth (for a zig zag cut to protect most fabrics from fraying)) and the sharpest ones without teeth (for a fine and straight cut).

The paper doll scissors would be a safe and simple solution. Before another thought or even a mirror, a fist full of golden hair wrapped into my small left palm, pulled out from my forehead, with scissors in my small strong right hand. Snip…snip…snip…snip, Many snips were required, dull cuts made it rough going but I was determined. Phew, done it!

OH NO! What have I done? Butterflies in tummy…face heating and swelling. Quick, what to do?

Ah! Yes! In a quick thoughtless movement I swiftly hid the fistful of no longer attached strands of messy silk under my bed! No one would notice what had happened! Right? All done. Mission accomplished.....phew.......handled that well? Again, these were unconscious and not well thought out motions at 5 years of age.

In the family lounge room now, Mother says with a perplexed, surprised facial contortion,

“Oh Julie! what on earth have you done?” Oh so innocently, with wet wide blue/green eyes “ahhhhmmm....what do you mean......?” Subjectively the mind twigged, as a non verbal retort; “but they were paper doll scissors!?.......” Shrug as if an innocent. Little did "I" know!

Then she chuckled gently and asked, “where are your bangs?”. I took her hand (right long slender pointer finger actually) and walked her into the bedroom, sheepishly pointing to under my single bed, stationed close to the entry of the room. The bedroom with three single beds. Where son and two daughters were always up to rowdy mischief and dreams.

“Wait until you FATHER gets home!” she quipped. Well….I knew that even with her even-tempered acceptance of my "innocent" revolt, I would be in for a lesson and a reprimand of some kind, “when father gets home”! Bristling in the yawning fear of “oh no…..not another lecture, maybe even a few whacks on the bottom, over his knee!”.

I spent this late afternoon, trying to figure ways to out myself, out of the trouble I had gotten myself into! Paper doll glue was not going to fix this one! Still happily self satisfied, I was free of bangs!

Fast forward through a decade plus 4 years. During this span of time I became a pleasure addict and exhibitionist, very adept at dissociative and abstracted self indulgence, self harm, cheating, conflicted between "good and bad", "right and wrong", lying and stealing, calculatingly sharp yet neurotically immature, seeming opposites simultaneously of visibility and hiding: consequently depleted and depressed. Feeling entitled, “cuz life is too painful and it just ain’t at all satisfactory or fair, ya know?!".

Thankful for genuine artistic creativity and skills, I was awakened into psycho physical awareness and connectivity, with psychic and intuitive skills, beasts and demons. Wake up from addictive nightmare time. It was very clear however that there was NO way out of this on my own mischievous laurels.

With VERY long hair, an 84 pound anorexic, do as I please neurotic bohemian independence, an unexpected certainty was given to me in Siddha Da Satsang; no point in hiding anything at all anymore. No unconscious, uncomfortable, controversial "secrets" useful to keep and disappear into, as if I could not be seen. A much greater sustenance, knowledge and freedom was immediately clear, full bodied to the toes in Bright Darshan. I WAS FULLY SEEN AND EMBRACED BY SIDDHA DA. Anorexia stopped effortlessly. Given freely, but this Relationship required surrendered heart reciprocation to be sustained responsibly (Awake in conscious conductivity of the Bright), rather than the ego active impulse to abstract or dissociate from Reality Being in an independent, self protective or self indulgent way.

The recognition responsive surrender of hidden subjective (conscious or unconscious) ego desires, agendas and ego active independent will, matures in Bright Satsang, wherein the ego act itself is radically understood and undone summarily. Ultimately Outshined IN Conscious Light.

Fast forward to now, 2020. This cartoon above applies in very concrete, factual ways amongst all humans on earth. Such intuitive feeling awareness, openly claimed, is often unfortunately met with  all too common fearfully imposed taboos, exercised often with the sting of ousting, with disrespect, humiliation and discrimination. Familiarly amused by the “alien’s” observation, they reminded me of my childish and adolescent naivete in regards to the un-inspected ego “I” act of cause and effect, motives and needs surrounding being shifty, rebellious, deluded, omnipotent, manipulative, casually and immaturely insubordinate, hidden and insensitive. Many Lessons learned around such errors and illusions and many more to openly and receptively submit into IN Reality Truth and to be freed of IN Bright Satsang, especially Collectively in unqualified relationship.

Please note the odd humour does not escape feeling awareness or feeling discrimination in the seeming contradictions in my communications here being on this public site, given the confessed understanding of patterned liabilities. Quite the opposite is true. I have to (with family and many intimates) and do again everyday, "weigh the scales" as to whether what I am doing is Lawful or not. The conclusion being consistently, yes. Why? "Formal" Adidam (as a much larger collective than acknowledged) is surprisingly and stubbornly staunch in missing the Collective mark of Reality Laws. Often acted out as a righteous refusal and fearful reluctance in regards to any accountability for this glaring faux pas. Nor are open hearted consideration about this "permitted". These truths cannot be "hidden" or lied about. Our Sacred History of Lessons and Leelas reveals the fallacy of such an approach. As do Adi Da's direct Words on this matter.

This site is a championing of Siddha Da's "Shout" about how His devotees, Work and Treasures are being "hidden", isolated, ostracised, abused and stolen from Him. This Relationship to Bright Reality Truth has yet to be set right by the present time "consumer religion business mummery, of knowing, owning and controlling". If this Leela of Lessons Consideration was being engaged as Adi Da Asked it to be done amongst the Collective, this site would not be necessary. I am left with no alternative than to bring the consideration out into the open, not HIDE the realties, that must be understood and gone beyond, under the BED of ego's mumming stage of twos! Even now, there are Culturally authorized attempts to ostracise, shut myself and other individuals up, and close dialogs, revise and hide His Words of Instruction, close down this site and other platforms, threads and streams.

Often the approach is around "legal copyright" arguments. It is ludicrous that I and others are challenging the "authorities" and the gathering altogether for enacting similar legal violations! This includes even more egregious calculated strategies that I have yet to speak of here on this site. So who will hold this "Holy" Institution and Samrajya and non-cooperative "organization" to account? It is far too serious a matter not to and too much is at stake. The manner is which the governing authorities and the collective as a whole allows this to go on, does deserve repeated forms of derision, until an Awakening Transformation is enabled and is obvious.

The gathering of individuals who have recognized and responded to Adi Da over the last 60 or so years continue to display, on a sliding scale, lack of true understanding, education and a continuing immaturity in this regard. Surprisingly even amongst devotees who have lived decades in Siddha Da’s intimate and direct Company. I am not making this up, exaggerating in spite, reactivity or un-Love. This evaluation has been and is obvious to thousands. The conscious or unconscious motives that seem to justify these cultic strategies are rampant amongst the broader all inclusive gathering to this day.

All "seekers", tending to be wilfully uptight, addictive consumers and ego self protective, hidden, reactive independents, MAY heroically attempt to participate. However! a Reality !caution! Here applies! If unable to fully let go, visibly vulnerable, accountable to and In Bright Free Fall, this abstracted, dissociative reluctance in relationship is incongruous with Siddha Yoga Laws in Satsang and Sangha and Seva.

This is what fuelled His passionate Heart “SHOUT”, His Summary Evaluation right up until His Mahasamadhi. The egoic taboos, motives and attempts at "knowing, owning and controlling" the Outshining Siddha Da Force of Divine Self Emergence IN the Bright are still at “play”. Righteously and dogmatically so as if these mechanisms are an auspiciously productive extension of His Authority. These mechanism ARE NOT authenticated nor tested and proven By Siddha Da's Means of Reality Law where Authority manifests AS HIS FORM Collectively. This is obvious to many many responsive or practicing devotees and individuals, just as the cutting and hiding of my hair was to my mother in 1961……….

When will a new Open Collective agreement be made amongst many maturely aware and Awake devotees (amongst the thousands of beings possibly available) to organize Reality Heart Intelligent, honestly effective in action and results, In True Heart Love, that relieves and frees Siddha Da AS Bright Reality Truth to fully incarnate, emerge AS His Adidam? The continuing collective ego active, destructive, counterproductive and fruitlessly impossible imposition of “knowing, owning and controlling” Siddha Adi Da’s Agencies and Bright Gathering must stop. Otherwise Bright Authority and Intervention is usurped by the revisions made and allowed to continue.

True Happiness In Reality Freedom Wake up call ! out of hiding ! Attempting to pull the wool over the world’s Heart Eye, will not work anymore! All seeming ego active cultic club members must "get out" of the True Heart Way! How can this not be abundantly clear?

Siddha Adi Da indicated, just prior to His Mahasamadhi that the collective ego acts imprisoning Him, were not unconscious, that in fact, they were darkly deliberate, just as they are "in the world". The very individuals He Spoke directly to about this, are some of the very individuals (all devotees are complicit as long as no new agreement and action is made and met) still attempting to, stubbornly so, obstruct His Purity of Love Bliss and Freedom Fire of Being from fully being unleashed. This True Bright Husbanding would enable the incarnation of His unknowable Pattern, His Reality Form, all Inclusive, Radiant AS a Collective of True Devotees. Thus enabling Bright World Work of true “hero-servants” to Walk About. His Collectively Incarnate Prior Unity From demonstrating accountability in self-rightening and self-organizing Prior Unity is urgently essential and Reality Truth, NOW. If this is not obvious as urgent for the sake of all and the earth world, heads are in the sand of ego "I".

Read His Words from the Aletheon below;

The Reality Way Of Surrender to Me, The Aletheon

Bright Siddha Da

The Ancient Walk About Way is the simple, original, and ancient “Root”- Way (or universal practice) of Sighting of an authentic Spiritual Realizer and (on That Basis) responsively surrendering “self” to the Person and the Self-Evident State of the Spiritual Realizer.

To (thus) surrender “self” is to relinquish all preoccupation with the adaptations and associations of “self”.

Through responsive devotional surrender of “self” to a Spiritual Realizer, the (then) devotee accepts the Spiritual Realizer as his or her Spiritual Master.

Surrender of “self” is the primary characteristic of devotion to one’s Spiritual Master.

Thus, true devotees are those who see the Spiritual Master and immediately surrender self”.

Those who do not (thus) surrender “self” are not true devotees.

The ego makes a “cult” out of non-surrender.

The ego is habituated to maintaining a “self”-defensive disposition.

Therefore, rather than continuing in the mode of ego-hiding and

ego-protection, My devotees must rightly and truly and most

seriously embrace the practice of ego-transcending (and whole-bodily-

recognition-responsive) devotion to Me.


By patterned habit, all human beings are tending to enact separation and separativeness.

In all of the first six stages of life, the characteristic sign of the ego is dissociativeness—whether that dissociativeness manifests primarily in social terms (as in the first three stages of life) or primarily as the esoteric “method” of dissociative introversion (as in the fourth, the fifth, and the sixth stages of life).

My devotees must transcend the dissociative disposition of the ego by surrendering to Me, resorting to Me, and cultivating their devotional relationship to Me—As I Am.

In that case, My devotees participate in My Intrinsically egoless Divine State, and are Blessed by Me to mature in tacit (and, in due course, Transcendental Spiritual) Divine Self-Realization.


True devotees of Mine constantly “glow” (whole bodily) with the “Bright” activation of their Self-Radiant devotion to Me. True devotees of Mine are Perfectly and completely “glued”—

or always whole bodily, and (in due course) Transcendentally Spiritually, connected—to Me.


The “world” of human egos is a mockery of the Divine.

Human egos “cloak” everything—even the Very Divine Itself— with projections of their own limitations and their own “dark”- mindedness.

Therefore, My devotees must (necessarily, and always) be confronted with the ego-transcending requirement of right relationship to Me.

You should only surrender to the Spiritual Master.

You should not surrender to anyone or anything else.

You should relate to everyone and everything else in positive terms, but such positive relatedness is not a matter of surrender.

If you are My devotee, your relationship to Me is utterly unique.

If you are My devotee, you do not relate to anyone or anything else in the same (or uniquely and utterly and whole bodily surrendered) manner that you relate to Me.

It is impossible to enact right and true devotional relationship to Me apart from surrender to Me (As I Am).

Right relationship to Me (As I Am) is not a mere formality.

For My devotee, right relationship to Me is the Law of life—and that Law is entirely based on ego-transcending (and, therefore, psycho-physical-“self”-contraction-transcending) surrender of the otherwise ego-bound (or “self”-contracted) body-mind-“self” to Me

(As I Am).

Right relationship to Me is the Ancient Walk-About Way of Sighting Me and (thereupon) surrendering the egoic “self” to Me (As I Am).

Right relationship to Me is whole bodily surrender to Me (As I Am)—with your entire life, and in all of your actions.

Remember, at heart with every breath, this paradoxical esoteric Truth of Siddha Da

I am speaking to everyone when I speak into the tape recorder. There is “nobody there”, except “somebody” with a tape recorder. Why is that? I am not just speaking to whoever is in the room with the tape recorder. I am speaking to everybody, literally. I meditate everybody. I am everybody. And I am speaking to everybody, and not to everybody as egos at all. I am simply Revealing Myself in “everyone’s face”. Adi Da 2008


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